Sunday, December 31, 2017

G8, P8: Death To Teenagers

"So are we back? You aren't losing whole batches of pictures anymore?"

Thanks, Tyler. Yes, we're back, with pictures.

"Great! I've got something to do."

There goes another maid.

Tyler stalks Jessica around the house, finally stabbing her as she holds still long enough to make Stella's bed.

LOL! Knife - $30, New comforter - $30, Murdering the help - priceless $125

"A date? Right now? Um, I don't think so. I'm waiting out the cops  busy."

"Oh Jesus Christ, Tyler. I'm trying to eat, here."

"People are so damn rude."

Who's winning?

"I don't know, I don't give a fuck."

"And THAT'S for taking so damn long to show up. I missed out on a date because of you!!"

I keep waiting for someone to wish to kill Grim. I'm still waiting.

"So I've been here for, like, an hour and no teens have shown up. The pool is SO last season. Why can't I go to the bar? My friends go there all the time!"

What friends?

"My friends! I have friends! Fuck off."

And she'll kill them all.

Graciela Taylor is brand new to Sunset Valley. Her family moved into one of SV's many vacant homes just a day or so ago. Funny how there are so many empty homes in such a nice, family friendly town that's full of fun things for kids to do. Like the local dive bar.

Graciela: "All the girls at school said they come here cause nobody cards."

"Welcome to the Valley, bitch! You're gonna love it here!"

"Ugh, who the hell are you??"

"Why are there teens in this bar? Those little fuckers have the whole town to hang out in, can't I have anything to myself?"

"Bye, blondie!!"

"Now, about Alexa...."

"I feel freaked out, for some reason. Like I should run or something."

Of course she won't.

"Hey, I know you! You're the girl everyone makes fun of in chemistry."

Meanwhile, Tyler is on another date.

Guess who was dumb enough to ask him out?

That looks about right.


His athletic is getting up there, so of course he kicks her ass.

Then offing her.

"You're such an asshole!!"

And yet you asked him on a date.

"Thanks, Grim! Nice to see you, again!"

"Ick, it stinks here. Pick a nicer place to die next time."

"Hey kid, did you hear what happened to that bitch, Jessi.."

"You know what, Stuart? I don't fucking care."

"What the hell is your problem, kid?"

"What the hell is my problem?"

"I'll tell you what my problem is! You are never fucking home, and when you are all you do is go from person to person, bitching, complaining, and starting shit! You don't have a job, you don't have any hobbies, you have NO friends, as far as I can fucking tell you don't actually DO anything except bar hop as soon as they open until they close or you get fucking arrested again! You are the worst father, EVER!"

"I fucking HATE you."

"Why you little..."

She's a child, Stuart.


All of Stuart's kids hate him. Can't imagine why.

Henry: "It is fine day to come to the arcade after school. Play some games, bowl a few, chat up sum bitches..."

Enjoy your last trip to the arcade, Henry.

"What the FUCK is wrong with you, Virginia???"

"It's called 'performing a public service', Henry. You wouldn't know anything about it."

"*gasp* Tell everyone *wheeze* that bitch *cough* was an easy fuck!!"

"Oh no! That poor boy with the gorgeous hair!"

Rory is still around.

"You killed my wife!"

"Asshole, lots of people have killed your wife!"

Xander was married to my simself at some point.

"Well Xander, you can just go join her."

Hank Goddard: "*sigh* I remember when Stuart killed my wife significant other.(he and Pauline never actually married in this game)

"Bye, Hank! Gotta bounce! Shit to do!"

Stuart breaks into Santos' home in his bathing suit, as you do.

"I'm hungry."

"But do I want autumn salad? ................................. eh."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Fox, but you are going to have to leave. You are rude to all of our customers and we are not going to allow it."

What did you expect, Greggory?

Greggory makes a valient attempt to defend himself and ward off the attack by running his arm through Tyler's head.

It doesn't work.

"I really hate you people."

Officer Clonie McBlondie: "We really hate you, too."

Rolled while Tyler is locked up.

After parole and a brief nap, he quickly locates Caryn at the sports bar.

The service positions in this town are perpetually empty.

Dammit, Tyler!!

"It's not my fault!!"

And, again, while he's in jail. Probably another service sim.

Another one of Stuart's kids becomes killable while his glitchy ass cheers, holding the food he HAD to get right before Stella went for the candles.

Idionka: "Bitch, that is the stupidest haircut I have EVER seen."

Donna Simself (my daughter): "Nobody cares what your ugly face thinks, kid."

Tango Jr.: "I don't have a good feeling about this birthday. I'm not sure why."

SPOILER: Y'all have no idea how damn long it's going to take for this child to become a young adult.

Stella rolled for her trait, so she is now a slobby, mean, couch potato who is also brave.

I have no idea why.

At the time I was busy watching Virginia smack Mark Langeraak around while on a date with some kid named Brian. I thought she'd be the one killing people but it was Stuart getting busy while she took the night off.

"She's ugly as shit."

Everyone crowded into the home theater to watch, including Buttmunch.

BM: "I will be turnin' on the one-eyed bunny channel and crankin' the volume up, as I always do."

Tyler finally gets out of jail and changes into his bathing suit for the birthday party he completely missed, then passes out on the grass near the police station entrance.

He gets to the coffee house, where Madeline works, a hair too late.

"Sorry, it's 2am on the dot and we're closed. You need to leave."

With no one else on the kill list, I send him home to bed.

Early the next morning,

They never get dressed before using the teleporter.

"Hey, Madeline! Glad to see you're working, again, today."

"Damn it."

He makes quick work of her.

Tyler doesn't roll anymore wishes, so I send him to the arcade to meet more potential victims have some fun, and have his adult birthday.

"Yaaaay! Wrinkles!"

Erich: "Why is that weird green girl here? I didn't think you guys were friends."

"We're not. She's my half-sister."

"A whole half? She looks nothing like you."

"Thank fuck."

"So what are you? Like, Princess Leia if Greedo had been her father?"

"Fuck you! Why are you in my house?"

"I'm here with Stella. You know, the pretty one? Must suck to be her sister!"

"HALF sister, you asshole! And shut the hell up before I fuck you up!!"

"Mehmehmeh, I'm so bad ass. Yeah RIGHT. You ain't doing shit."

He's correct. She didn't.

And then there's Stuart.

Albert: "What a great day for the Summer Festival!"

Stuart: "Fuck I hate teenagers."

"You're at the coffeehouse, you're always at my damn house, you're in my BARS for shit's sake. You all keep cropping up everywhere like cockroaches."

"Ummmm, I just wanted to roller skate."

No worries, Roman. It takes So Damn Long to cancel the skating action that you get a reprieve.

"Where are you people when all these underage little shits are clogging up my dive bar?"

Officer Sliders Setatzero: "Sir, as long as they are back on their home lots by 11pm, we really don't give the scab on the boil of a rat's ass what teenagers do."

Meanwhile, at the arcade.....

"And then I said to Brian, 'I don't know, I like you and all but I'm not sure I'm ready to wear your ring.'"

"Cool story, sis. Too bad it's complete bullshit."

"You. Bitch."

Revenge will be swift.

"Dammit, Virginia, I was about to beat my high score!"


LOL! There's that clumsy trait.

"I got it. I got it! ..................... Nobody saw that, right?"

Yellow Jacket: "I feel like my time here at the arcade is only just beginning."

Yep. It's like that.

The ghost wish I locked in before realizing that Vaughn is a child.

You can see them all in a line. Way to make it easy, guys.  Andrew gets to die first.

Virginia doesn't actually go down until after Tyler gets Andrew.

Bohdi is next.

With Isaac bringing up the rear.

"Why aren't the cops arresting this guy?"

They still hadn't shown so Tyler optimistically zapped home.

"Did I make it?"

The babysitter the game autonomously hired to watch the kids since both adults are about to be unavailable (and both teenagers dead) says no.

"I hear y'all have gnubb!"

Tyler hoofs it all the way back to the arcade to be arrested.

Raccoon: "It smells like death in there. The trash ain't worth it."

Purple Shorts: "Yeah, I'm with the funny looking cat."

All rolled while he's in jail.

And we have another problem.

Neither girl had a death flower. Now both Stuart and Tyler have the science building opportunity, but they've got to get out of jail AND take a kill break first.  Tyler, in particular, has a list to work through.

How long does it take to bring the girls out? How long of a kill streak will Tyler pull off? Find out next chapter.