Tuesday, June 20, 2017

G6, P1: Fredrick Goes Undercover

"I hope the police are gone when we get home."

Last chapter was a long one. Sebastian grew up and moved Virginia, his girlfriend, into the house. To my great joy, it turns out that Virginia is unlucky! So she's around for the long haul. Sebastian killed Bronwyn, and Elvis killed Lydia. Both stayed dead as I don't like Bronwyn enough to keep giving her death flowers, and Lydia was about to become an elder. Blaine grew up at the end of the chapter, rolled mean-spirited for his final trait, and will be living with us for the time being, attempting to become a Star News Anchor.

Sebastian and Virginia got married, and this chapter kicks off generation six with the birth of their first child. This is Tesla. He rolled odd for both traits so he's evil and insane.


He's not talking about Trump.

Peter: "Nice mouth on you, little dude. You'll fit in nicely here."

You're not getting your lifetime wish, Blaine. Unlike Elvis, you actually have to get to level 10 of your career.

"Oh ye of little faith."

Ralph is in school, so Sebastian's going to have to wait.

Blaine, in a not-at-all creepy fashion, follows his boss home from work.

"I can't wait until I get the trenchcoat and cool hat."

"This will make a great story, Adam! Too bad you won't be writing it."

"Please just let me grab a sandwich, Grim. I'm starving!!"

"Why didn't you eat? It looks like the delivery boy is here."

"I didn't even get fired!"

'Tis true. No cops, no firing.

"The sink ......... it's ............ killing ...............me..............."

Broken sink is still broken.

He snags Ralph in the bathroom.

"How rude!!"

Bye Ralph!

"I don't want to play with the block toy, I want to play with the doll house."

You're cute, Tesla.

"I am, aren't I?"

Blaine may have the kids' room to himself, but he never sleeps alone.

"It's total bullshit, Tesla. It's absolutely none of my boss' damn business what I do in my off hours."

"What do you do in your off hours?"

"Think of it as town maintenance."

Hell yeah! Let's start bringing the poor, hapless bastard children home to be brutally murdered.

"So sorry. Didn't know that thing was actually for fireplaces. Cornelius was an asshole anyway."


"Shut up! I think it's perfect on me."

"So how do you like it here so far, Virginia?"

"Well, I really like the hot tub. I'm not so crazy about Bastian's uncle."

"Nobody is."

"This shit reminds me of something."

I totally see the connection.

"Damn, he actually looks like he got dressed with the light on. Maybe I won't kill him this time."

"Nice wrinkles. I'm betting that you're going to go full-on crypt keeper soon."


"Couldn't you at least wait until the commercial?"

Found Fredrick! He's a cop, guess that's why Elvis wanted to kill him.

You know, Blaine, just because Elvis does it......

Virginia gives birth to baby number two! This is Benjamin Fox. He was born with heavy sleeper locked in, and he rolled even for his trait, so he's also friendly.

"Okay, I know I've said that I've got Foxes in my brain, but this is ridiculous!"

If it helps, Clark, it seems that no one cares about Lawanda now that she's grown up, so you may get a reprieve in a another day or so.

"That'd be nice."

Once again, the police never came and Blaine did not get fired.

"Come on, man! It's just a friendly game of pool!"

"I'm not friendly, Arnie."

"Hang on, I'm getting a message from the universe. Rrrr ..... Ruu ... Rumage? Rule? Ruler?"


"Run? Why?"

Because you're next.

"Oh crap."

"Sir, you're going to have to come with me."

Fredrick: "No, he's coming with me."

"I'm not going with either one of you."

"It's the law, sir. You cannot cancel an arrest."

"Maybe you can't, but right now I'm answering to a higher power. I didn't want this to happen at all, but I must say that the timing is exquisite."

"Do you know what he's talking about?"

"No. He's just stalling. Cuff him!"

"Not today, bitches! It's my birthday!!"

Grim: "Excellent! Will there be cake?"

The "have birthday" action cancelled out the "listen" aka "get arrested" actions. So thanks to Father Time, Elvis gets away with a double murder.

"How shall I celebrate my hard earned freedom?"

"By being me."

Elvis tracks Celina down at her hou...  Dude, what the hell are you wearing?

"It's my outdoor outfit. You forgot to change it!"

LOL! I'll get to it.

"You better."

"*SOB* I don't wanna die!"

"Can I just finish this fir.."

No, Celina, no you may not.

"You don't look like you're crying."

"I am! I really am! My face is stuck!"

"Believe me, I'm doing you a favor."

Did Tesla get a haircut? No, this is Ben, all toddlerfied.

He hasn't gone on any sprees, yet, but I'm pleased with how you're turning out, Blaine.

Sixties-era bathing suit and flippers, the height of serial killer fashion.

"I'm saving her from starving to death."

"Get out of the way, you ingrate! I can't get out of bed!!"

"Fine! I'll go downstairs."

"I was led to believe that you couldn't enter a private residence."

Fredrick: "I can't explain it, sir. I can, however, explain that you have been fired."

Blaine's luck ran out.

"What is that god-awful noise??"

Just Sebastian, putting a gaping hole in the parking lot.

Blaine gets his a journalism job back.

I had sent Elvis to the nectary to gather seeds.

Caitlyn: "Wow! That is one sexy murderer!!"

Elvis: "Why, thank you, young lady!"

Jack: "I guess it's just as well that Cait's too old to have babies now. My family is still managing to ruin my life."

Caitlyn is Jack's wife.

"You know, Fredrick, I'm getting really tired of this."

"It doesn't thrill me, either, Mr. Fox."

"Yay!! Isn't this so fun, Tesla?"

"I wonder if I could bash someone's head in with this mallet?"

Duck: "Oh, my little ones. It is well that you have not seen what I have seen."

"I could definitely bash the duck."

"Hee-hee! You're funny, Tesla!!"

Tesla has a lonely birthday, just him and his mom since no one cared enough to throw him a party.

Or he did get a party and all the assholes we invited are too mesmerized by PIANO to come cheer for the baby.


And where is Blaine? The sim who wished to throw this party?

"That bitch, thinks she can just show up in my home and behave like a common ho."

Mhmmmmm. That's right. He left the party that HE threw, in order to drive across town so he can tell my simself to behave.  This should go well.

"And she skipped out on MY party to go the coffeehouse?  I hate her."

Don't we all.

"Bitch, do NOT come into MY house without wiping your feet. I have no idea where your shitty shoes have been!"

"You can't possibly be talking to me. You're not even looking at me."

"And you're obnoxious."

*strum* "Do I look like I give a shit, Blaine? That's a major appliance, btw, not an actual, human name."

I knew this was coming the moment Blaine got in the car.

"Fuck off, Blaine. Do you see these ugly ass clothes I'm wearing?"

Blaine will have to quell his murderous desire for a day or two, as I am wearing the "hideous outfit of up the duff".

*deeeerrrrrp* "What's my trait, again?"

No idea as I failed to get a screenshot. I don't even remember if Tesla got a family trait or not. I want to say not, but I am not sure.

"You suck at this."

Pretty much.

"You look familiar. Do I know you? Are you a friend of Blaine's?"

"Uhhhhhh....yeah. I'm a friend of Blaine's. We were buddies ............. back when he was still in school."

"Yes!! I do know you!!"

"Mehmehmeh, I'm Fredrick, I think I'm SO clever, crashing a party undercover as a high school kid. Too bad my ugly ass face gives me away!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Kyle, not Fredrick!"

"Hold on for just a second there, bitch, I gotta change."

"Ima goin' do this with my shades on."

"Uh, did he just change his clothes twice?"

Yes. Yes he did.

"I decided I look better in my formal wear, pig."

"You tried to fool me? YOU tried to fool ME?? You don't have the brains, motherfucker!!"

"MwahahahahaHAAAAAA!!! Who gives a shit about my trait? This is a GREAT birthday! I have been INSPIRED!!"

Everyone else thought so, too.

"Please Grim, my captain said the Letterman's jacket was foolproof!!"

"Did she mention that the fool is you?"

Yes, it really is Fredrick. Blaine did not (could not) invite him, he actually crashed the party. So Elvis gets last chapter's wish after all.

I let him keep his trophy in his bedroom. He's very proud of it.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you. I am not someone to be trifled with!"

"Trifle? There's trifle?"

Party's over, mofo. Go home while you're still alive.

Coming up next chapter, another Fox is born, my simself dies tragically again, and I may remember to screenshot Tesla's trait!

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