Saturday, May 27, 2017

G5, P6: No Backsies

It's deja-vu all over again.

Kimberlee is not at the party. Zach, on the other hand.....

"BOOOOOOOO!!!! You're evil! I don't like you!"

"You're not even worth looking at while I run you through."

"This party sucks!"

"It does. It's not my party, that's probably why."

"My parties are always better!"

Elvis, you gotta go! Run to the house across the street and hide!

"I would never have a party in such a tacky location!!"

"Nothing could make this party epic!!"


"You have got to be kidding."

"He's balding??  HahahahahaHAAAAAA!!!  That's fantastic!!"

Elvis! Seriously!! Get your ass across the street!

"Can't you fix it?"

I could.

Sebastian rolled odd for his trait, so he is now hot-hotheaded, in addition to evil, insane, eccentric, and mean-spirited. All four traits plus eccentric, I like.

His lifetime wish is Monster Maker, which is currently glitched in one of my other games, so I'm hoping the same won't happen here.

Elvis, to the surprise of no one, does not make it to safety and is arrested, again.

"This lazy bitch doesn't clean for shit."

Lauren is also the one who crashed the party that Elvis threw to kill one of his bosses. Craig, I think.

"Looks like I'm done here. I'm leaving and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

See you tomorrow, Lauren.

At least Lydia won't be bored while she waits.

"This never gets old."

"It's better to burn out than to fade away......... too bad for you, Michael."

Lanford: "I don't like this lady. We are no longer friends."

Lydia: *promptly wishes to kill toddler*

Elvis gets out of jail and starts moving down his list, starting with Valencia.

"Here's something to cry abo ... are you wearing clown make-up?"

"It's bunny face paint!"

"Jesus this town is so fucking tacky."

Next is Kimberlee, his most recent former boss,

"*gasp* I told them *wheeze* not to hire you back!!"

"You AND this ugly ass trailer should have died in that fire!!"

"Who the hell even are you and what are you doing here?"

Ericka is the same Ericka that refused to burn to death all those years ago.

"If it helps, she wasn't going to be alive for much longer."

"NO that doesn't help!!"

"I don't understand you people at all."

Edith and her husband, Mac, live in Alexandria's house.

I couldn't find Alex for a while there, and assumed that the game had sent her to the graveyard at some point, but she's still around. Mastercontroller has her listed as an "out of towner" who's homeless. It must be like with the active lot, any one who dies on it doesn't automatically poof to the graveyard. Alex's ghost behaves like she died on an active lot.

"I know what you're doing here, you spawn of Satan!!"

"What are YOU doing here?"

"I LIVE here!"

"You're dead!"

"Fuck you!"

"BOOOOOO! You're an evil piece of shit!!"

"Can I kill her again?"

No, your great-uncle or whatever already tried.

Elvis finally gets down to business.

"Sweet dreams, Edith."

He decides to not leave Edith's widower to suffer.

"I'm too much of a softie for my own good. Well, Mac's own good, really."

The nightstand finishes what Elvis started.

"Get out of here, you crazy asshole!"


"Oh fuck."

"Curse you, you damn Steff!!"

"Oh no! I'm reliving my own murder! *sob*!!"

Meanwhile, back at home.

"Dammit! Again??"

Don't worry. Sebastian will call the repairsim.

Or he'll just blow it up.

Right in the puddle. Perfect.


That is some precision detonation. Look at that counter just floating there. Also, the counter on the other side of the sink caught fire.

"Point it at the fire, you fucking dumb ass!!"

"Shut up, Mom, before I shut you up!"

"I'd like to see you try, you worthless pussy!!"

Elvis comes home.

"What the fuck? Don't we have a fucking fire alarm??"

We might, just not in this room.


Yeah, you'd think there'd be one in here.

Elvis: "Why is Grim here?"

Sebastian: "Heh. I'm super quick."

You know it.

"She wouldn't shut the hell up."

Elvis wants a turn.

"I'm going to kill that fucking kid."

"Just make sure he has a flower. I can't get enough of those precious things!"

"Fuck you, you little bastard."

"*gasp* Get my revenge, Elvis!!"

I swear Lydia did wish to kill Sebastian. I must not have gotten a screenshot of it.

"My pleasure."

Butler: "Do I get a bonus for cleaning up all these ashes?"

"Wow! I'm really adding to my collection today!"

"You brought her back?? WHY do you keep doing that? I don't keep killing her for you to keep resurrecting her scrawny ass!!"

"I'm Elvis. I think I'm more special than little black flowers. Aren't I in for a big surprise!"

Because we haven't used enough death flowers today.

"You think you're such a smarty-pants, just because you made honor roll?"

"The hell is your problem?"

"I'm just gonna watch tv or something."

"Or maybe I'll watch my sister bite it."

"Holy shit!! Dad!! Did you see this??"

LOL! His face.

"I saw alright."

"HA!! After this I'm getting my job back AGAIN!! Those fuckers always hire me back!"

Elvis, quit gloating and kill Blaine like I friggin' told you to!

"YOU don't know shit!!"


Huh, guess Elvis got him after all.

"I'm fucking awesome."

Both kids have death flowers. Both come back. blahblahblah

"This is going to be the best."


"*sigh* Back to the daily grind."

Hello, Lauren. So nice of you to come back.

So here's the thing with maids, they don't stay still for the love of all that is holy. Lydia tried 5, 6 times to kill her but she never stayed still long enough. So Lydia decided to ask her to hang out.

"Uhhhh, you know, I'd rather not."

Oh you bitch!

I noticed that she paused every time she put something in the trash, so I waited for her to recycle something, positioned Lydia, and.....

"Die, you difficult little snowflake!"

"Dammit! I should have been a police detective!"

Finally. I thought we might not get her.

Graveyard's getting big. Lauren is added to the non-family section next to Elvis' apartment.

Elvis killed him a couple of chapters ago but he's unlucky.

"No one wants to listen to your shitty music, kid."

"Fuck that job anyway! I'm too good for them!"

You're going to get arrested, again, if you don't get moving.

"I'm going, I'm going."

Too late.

"Wait, am I getting arrested or propositioned?"

"I'm really not in the mood for your humor, sir."

It was inevitable.

*hours later*

"Hello ........ boss."

"I really, really hate this game."

Ross: "Oh my god, Grant! Our foster mom is dead!"

Grant: "Do we have to go to an orphanage? What about Rey?"

"No. You don't have to go to a fucking orphanage. Dammit."

My old simself hadn't even gone to her grave, yet. I wanted to be sure there was an adult in the house for the kids.

Including Rey, my daughter with Leonard.

"You probably should not have come home today, Winnie."

"*sigh* What now, Blaine?"

"You got on the honor roll AGAIN??"

"So what? What's the big deal?"

Winnie, I wish I knew.

"Little snot."

"This is unbelievable."

"I don't know why I don't have a flower. Can't you bring me back anyway? Come on, I'm just a kid!"

"Sorry. No flower, no backsies."

Yeah. I like Winnie, just not enough to keep bringing her back. She's no Thomas. And NO ONE is getting the science building opportunity. Even with all the adults being opportunistic.

Sure. Why not?

Elvis really hates this kid. I think we have the male Lawanda.

"Just look at his outfit! Pretentious little shit."

"His hair is stupid."

Have you looked in a mirror lately?

"At least my house is beautiful."

"Are you kidding me? This place is a hole."

Yeah, I think that sink has been broken since Blaine was a toddler.

"I can practically swim in here."

Meanwhile, in another part of town...

"Why do you keep doing this??"

"Because you keep coming back as a fashion disaster every single time!"

"God DAMMIT!!!"

His boss, of course. I think he worked one shift.

"Pffft, he would be nailing some blue-haired chick."

"He's not dying."

He has to finish making out first.

"Holy shit, what the hell is wrong with that baby?  Somebody kill it!!"

Nobody's going to kill it, Elvis.

"Fine. I'll kill this blubbering idiot instead."

"You lot are SO annoying!"

Next morning,

"You know, I am so tired of looking at you day in and day out."

"Fuck off, Elvis. I'm not in the mood for your shit this morning."


LOL! It's like two Sith battling to the death.

"No flower? Really?"

Really. She's almost an elder and Sebastian has taken over the gardening. It's time.

"It's cool, Grim. I appreciate becoming a ghost before I'm all saggy and gross."

l don't know if Clark keeps making the honor roll or what.

"*sigh* I just want to finish this."

Until next time, Clark.

Which turned out to be the next day. Nevermind the honor roll, I think Elvis simply hates him and enjoys killing him.

"I see nothing wrong with that."

"This is such a waste of time!"

The NEXT day Sebastian wants in on the action.  But first....

Yay Jack!!

Jealous, are we?

"Die, you little snot!!"

"Why aren't you begging for your life, or even flinching?"

"It's not my first rodeo, asshole."

"Thanks, Grim! Nice to see you again."

"Oh you are fucking kidding me?"

"Well, this has been fun, but I've got to go."

"Wait, WHAT???"


"NOOO, come back!!"

"HahaHAAAAA!! Even death has forsaken him!"

Unwind, Drama King, he'll be back soon enough.


"I have a mission and no door shall stop me!"

"Hey Virginia! Now that you finally grew up and miraculously no one in my family killed you you can do anything you want, how about you move in with me?"

"Sure!! That'd be great! Your house is much nicer than mine!"

I didn't realize she was that much younger than Bastian. Took her forever to grow up. Get moved in and knocked up before Elvis kills you, kiddo!

Or maybe it'll be even easier than that.

SHE'S UNLUCKY!!! Way to pick 'em, Sebastian!! I'm sensing lots of kids this generation because my designated baby-incubator/raiser can't die!! WOOOOOOOT!!!!

"Uhhhh, whut?"

Too late. No take-backs. Dishwasher's broken, kid. Get on that.

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

I'm surprised you don't already.

Generation six on order!

"Dammit, I knew I should've taken that promotion and moved to Bridgeport!"

"Hello, Elvis! Good to see you again."

"What are you going to do with that poker?"


"Now this is a relaxing night out!"

It's worth noting that the police haven't come for his last several kills. I wonder if there's a percentage chance of getting caught every time. If so, I imagine it's weighted in favor of getting caught, but Elvis has been pretty lucky lately.

Cristina was easy to find.

"I was warned about this town."

You should have listened.

Frederick, on the other hand, was nowhere in town. We'll look for him in the morning, Elvis.

Being the good sim he's not, Sebastian wished to marry Virginia now that they are expecting. He brought her to the gardens outside the country club for a nice, romantic proposal.

She accepted, thankfully. I was concerned that she might not, considering how most of the Foxes seem to be lightening rods for rejection.

"I do take thee, Sebastian, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in good times and bad, until death parts us."

"And I take you, Virginia, until we run out of death flowers or die of old age!"

"Oh Sebas .... wait, what?"

Welcome to the family, Virginia Fox!

"I am not a disappointment!"

"Have you killed anyone? Even one person?"

"What's disappointing is I didn't do this sooner."

"Thanks, Elvis!! I was beginning to think you guys weren't growing these anymore!"

With one day left on his clock, Blaine secures a spot in the house by guaranteeing himself a family trait. I had figured on moving him out (or letting him die, whichever came first) and keeping Elvis around for the long haul while Virginia pumps out kids, but now I'll guess we'll see how Blaine does.
He could pull a Shane and surprise me.

He takes it out on Summer instead of Blaine. Interesting. Frederick still hasn't shown up in town. I'm giving it a few days, then I'll delete the wish.

"You little shits are all the same."

"Well you're not killing me, you jerk."

"It took you too long to get here and now I'm going to school."

"That is not a problem."

"Hey Summer! It's Elvis, Blaine's dad? I'm throwing him a graduation party this afternoon and I'd LOVE it if you could come. ............ FanTAStic! I'll see you at 3!"

I also checked for Frederick, but he wasn't even available to invite.

"That's right, laugh it up you dumb bitch."

"Dad, I know that look. Come on, it's my birthday!"

"The only graduating you'll be doing is to the front corner of our yard."

Virginia: "Oh my! It's a good thing I've got that sweet marriage moodlet, because otherwise I'd be saddled with a big ol' creeped out moodlet from watching my husband's uncle/cousin/I don't even know, kill some innocent, young girl!"

That is going to be an issue. Because she has no family traits, Virginia has to suffer through all the moodlets inflicted by the kills (like Jack before her). I'm going to have to get creative if I want to be able to roll for babies' traits, as they are not getting married again.

Grim: "A birthday AND a deathday! What a party! Thanks for inviting me!"

Kristin: "I still hate your ass, Elvis."

"Nice outfit, for the town bicycle."

"Hey! I made it to adulthood!"

You did, kiddo. Since he killed his father, Blaine had a roll-off for hot-headed or mean-spirited, and mean-spirited won it! So he is now evil, insane, mean-spirited, clumsy, and a couch potato. He rolled a lifetime wish a few days ago. He wants to be a Star News Anchor. I don't think that's going to happen, but he's going to try.

"Really, you pig? In my own yard?"

"The simgod did tell you to get your ass in the house, sir. You cancelled the action."

"It's a birthday! I had to cheer!"

Cheer your way to jail, you dumb fuck.

"Oh dear! I guess it's going to be a double birthday!"

We'll end this way too long chapter here. Coming up, generation six!


Lifestage with no kills: 1 (Jack, teen) (1T, 2YA, 1A, 1E)

Able to roll for a trait: 9 (60)

Locked-in traits: 0 (3)

Lifetime Wishes: 2 (7)

Kill Totals

Total: 102

Teen: 3 (24)

YA - Elder: 99 (235)

Household members: 15 (47)


Thomas: 4 (67)

Elvis: 60 (65)

Lydia: 39 (53)

Jason: 38

Zed: 14

Barb: 11

Shane: 6

Sebastian: 5

Julia: 4

Jeanette: 3

Blaine: 1

Mary: 1

Max: 1