Monday, April 9, 2018

G9, P3: The Shady Side of the Swamp


Stella: "I WAS watching Lester get shot down by that simgod-bitch, what the fuck is going on?"

Lester: "Maybe it was a dream."

Herman: "Is Stuart still dead?"

Virginia: "What is that tiny-ass greenhouse behind me?  Where's my real garden?"

Jadzia: "This isn't Egypt."

John: "Uh, the front walk is tilted. I don't like it."

SO, because I can't exit and go back a save like a good Sims player, Sunset Valley got borked all to hell, finally coming to a head last chapter. Everyone's (and I mean everyone, the whole town) aging kept shutting off and nothing could fix it. So I put Buttmunch, Fox statuette, important graves, and any other relevant paraphernalia into various personal inventories, saved the family and a few relatives around town, and zapped them into a fresh, new game file in a fresh, new town.

I opted not to save the lot for fear that it would bring some of that good old Sunset Valley glitchiness with it. That meant starting over with the old, original copy of the Rainbow House. I had to modify it all over again (this time saving the damn thing). It wasn't until I'd already done all of that that I realized there was next to no room for a garden. They don't need much so it should be fine. The only real downside is there's not enough space for a sprinkler, so Virginia's gonna have to work for it.


"Does this mean I'm finally going to die?"

Sooner than later, I hope.

So where are they? If you can't tell from the pictures, you'll find out soon enough.


"You know what would make this place really feel like home?"



"What's up, Virginia? You never want to talk to me."

Normally I don't like using generic wishes to kill household members, but Herman is special, and Stella has a LTW to fulfill. Or not, as the case likely is.

STELLAAAA!!! Get your ass in here!!


"*grumble* What the fuck? I was watching Survivor XXV. I ain't got time for your bullshi....."


"Holy shit!! Is that Herman?"

"You're welcome, Stel!!"


"Please, Grim! I don't deserve to die! I didn't do anything!"

"That's what they all say! Remember to eat, next time. Idiot."


"MOTHERFUCKER! It didn't work! I knew that simpering asswipe wasn't rich!"

"YASSSS!!! Good luck finding someone else to marry you, you frigid harpy!!"

Yeah, it didn't work. I knew it wouldn't. Even if Herman had been considered rich, the move probably broke the LTW anyway.

No worries, Stella. We'll find someone. I know where all the rich guys are.


"*SOB* You are fucking joking! Have you SEEN the ugly-ass 'people' who live in this fucking cesspool?"

Hey, you got your pretty-boy who was decidedly lower-middle class. No complaining.


"Well, this house is pretty nice, I suppose, considering how low the fucking bar is in this town."


"Oh. You're not too bad."


"Not bad at all."


"Hold still, Dennis. I don't have all day."

Not to mention that you're not exactly Miss Congeniality.


Easy-peasy.


Max: "Dennis?? What are you doing? Who's this trollop?"



"Um, what is this two dollar whore doing in my mansion?"


Kicking off our Twinbrook legacy Fox-style!


"Uh, you married an 80 year old?"

"Silver's in her 40s, she just looks like the crypt keeper."

"Dude. ........... Come live with me. You don't wanna be lookin' at that day in and day out, do you?"


"You're right, Stella! I'd much rather look at you!"


"I always knew Dennis was a philandering, man-child. You think you've won? Good luck with that, Lolita."


"Spare me your drama, hag. This ain't your bridge club."


"What the??? Who the hell ARE you??"

"You were already on death's doorstep. I just pushed your saggy ass in."


Grim: "I don't get paid enough for this, Max. Have some respect and put your damn pants on."

"Don't wanna!! And with this bitch gone, now I don't have'ta!!"

Stella: "Nice suit, in 1980."

Dennis isn't even here, he already ran home.


The new boy. Don't get attached.


Stella has her adult birthday out in the rain.


"Is that old dude my new dad?"

"What? Who? ... Oh, Dennis. Um, yeah. I guess. Sure."


"*sigh*"


He's .......... something. At any rate.


Gotta marry him in before someone wishes to kill him.


It'll do.


"Oh Stella, I'm sorry we didn't get to have a nice wedding. I don't know what happened there."


Me either. They couldn't have a private wedding. I wonder if Stella herself is glitched. Great. I hope this LTW works, we're not doing this again.


"I gotta tell you, Stel, it is so nice to finally meet a girl who loves me for me. I mean, y'all are richer than my family, so I know for sure you married me for love and not money."

"Uh, yeah......"


"About that............"


"Sorry Dennis. It's for the greater good. Well, my greater good."


"Stella?!? WHY??"


"how could you....."


"You're a fool, Dennis. A rich fool, the best kind."


"*SOB*"

"*tsk* You're not foolin' anybody, sister."

Khloe Kardashian???


"I'm not sad, dumb ass! That worthless motherfucker materialized OUTfuckingSIDE!! I have to go out in the fucking rain to get my goddamn lifetime wish!!"

LOLOLOLOL!! Haul ass, girl! You don't want to miss it!

Seeing him through the window did not count for beans.

Stella was not the only one annoyed with Dennis' choice of exit location.


"*sigh* Really? This is a perfectly nice hallway. Why make me go out in the rain? I'm going to ruin my new suit."


"Outta the way, Tubbs!! My happiness is on the fucking line, here!!"

"What?  Tubbs? Your happiness? Excuse me?!?"

Oh new Grimmy, welcome to the Fox Den! You're going to love it!!


"YASSSS!! Stella's new boyfriend bit it already!!"

Husband. They just got married.

"Wait, married?? So she's going to get her lifetime wish?"

It's now or never.


"Never. I vote never."

"Me, too!"

"Shut up ........... whatever your name is!! I wasn't fucking talking to you."


Stella: "Thank Fuck!!"

Virginia: "Dammit."


"That's right, freak. I am HAPPY. AS. FUCK!!"

Grim: "I'm not. Is no one going to mourn? This is not proper protocol!"

I tried to get a pic of Dennis talking to Grimmy, but Grim must have been genuinely pissed off because he shooed Dennis into in his grave and promptly left.

Big baby.

He came right back the next day.


"Awww, I don't mind for this fluffy guy!"

Finally. So long, Tyler's cat whose name I don't remember.

Max: "That's right bitch!! You take my son, I kill your cat!!"

You didn't kill the cat, he was way past his expiration date.

"I said I KILLED HIM!!!"


"Just blow the candles out, kid. I swear I'm gonna put both cakes in the damn fridge and none of those stupid moochers are getting a single bite."


Awww. Jennifer rolled "evil" for her new trait. She was already perceptive and eccentric. I like you, Jenny.


I redecorated one of the bedrooms just for her, so she can learn inventing in peace.


"Pffffft. She looks like her insipid father."

Lay off the sauce and go cheer for Jadzia.

"Now why would I go and do that?"


She went anyway. Even Grim sashayed his way over, as did Tay Bayless, Jadzia's little buddy.


"Ha-HAAAAAAAA! She's almost as ugly as Virginia!!!"


"Please tell me I do not have to keep this hair."

"Hey! What's wrong with my hair?"


I gave her a new 'do. Jadzia did not get a family trait. She is now "avante garde", along with adventurous genius who loves the heat.

"Can I live with Aunt Celine, now?"

Nope.

Believe it or not, the rest of the party was uneventful. The next evening, Brendon (the obnoxious blond above, in the white and blue sweatshirt) decided to call Stella.


"Who are you? ............... Brendon who? I just moved here, I don't know any Brendon. .............  At MY daughter's party? Yesterday? ................. Wait, are you that idiot who wouldn't quit pointing and laughing? ........................ Well I agree, she's funny-looking as hell. .................. wait, WHAT?? ........... No, you ASSHOLE, that wasn't my daughter! My daughter was the cute blond in the purple cowboy hat!! ............... They BOTH look nothing like me, you dick!!"


You've got it coming, Brendon.

There was just one, eensy little problem.


Must be a role sim of some kind. We'll look for him later.

The next day (or the next, who even knows?), Shark Racket invites Jadzia over to his house after school. She accepts because a Racket even talking to a Fox at this point is not suspect in any way.

It did not, but at all, go the way I imagined.

After getting everyone else situated, I zoomed over there to see what she was up to. I don't know what happened but she was in the middle of yelling at Shark.


"I don't freakin' care if your dad married my aunt. I am NOT related to your stupid family!!"


"Well obviously YOU'RE not. I mean, look at you."


"Also, you're being inappropriate, and if you don't cut it the fuck out, you're gonna hafta go home."

"Oh REALLY??"


Huh. I don't think any Fox with no family traits has ever thrown a kill wish before. For a brief second, I didn't know what to do. Then I figured, hey, she's still a Fox!


"What the hell??"


"You biiiiitch.........."




"Oh my god!! What have I done?"


"Although....."


"That was kind of satisfying."


All the remaining Rackets came to mourn the death of yet another one of their own at the hands of a Fox. Virginia even came running over to bear witness.

"YES!! My daughter is truly one of us!! I knew it!!"

"Cut it out, Mom. Not now!!"

Jadzia simply stood and watched.


"Nice suit!"

"Thanks!"




You know, just because you're pregnant....

"Shut up! Getting married was really fun, last time!"


You don't have to look so glum, Chase. You didn't have to invite her to your house.


"Um, Chase? What's is that girl you brought home's problem?"

"I don't know, Dad. Jadzia's always been a little strange."


"*sob* I miss our kitty SO MUCH!!!"

What was his name?

"*SOB!!*"

Meanwhile, across the swamp, in a dance club of questionable reputation,


"Hi there, handsome!"

Wei Keane: "Heh. Hi!"



LOL! That she is. Wei is single, so no ex-SO to murder.


"How did it go at Chase's house?"

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yes, fine."

" ................. So nobody died?"


"Jesus, Mom! That was a one time thing, and Shark had it coming!! I am NOT like the rest of you. I am not some crazy, soulless, shell of a human being!"


"Heh. Neither am I, sweetheart. Neither. Am. I.  You better get yourself straightened out, soon, Jadz. Before your aunt takes an interest in you."


John: "Mom has a new boyfriend, did you hear?"

Jenny: "Yeah, I heard. Think she'll marry this one?"


"Eh. Like it matters. She probably just wants someone to take care of the new baby."

"New baby?? What new baby??"

"Mom's pregnant. You didn't know?"


"Great. That's all we need."

"Yup."

So I was perusing Stella's tabs, out of sheer boredom most likely, when I discovered this....


Well well.


"Hey, Brendon, it's me, Stella. .................... Yeah, the one with the blond daughter. How ya' doin'? ................. Great, great. Listen, I just got a new tv and I wanna put Llamavision on it, but I cannot figure out how to download the app and run it. Can you come over? ............. Awesome! Thanks! .......... What? ............ Oh. Uh, no, I'm not seeing anyone right now. ..................... Yeah ....................... uh-huh ...................... Yeah, yeah, sure, okay! See you in a few!"


"You dumb fuck."

Brendon: "Is this place haunted? I'm getting a vibe."


"BOO!!"

"AHHH! It is haunted! I knew it!!"


Stella: "Not yet, but it will be very soon."

"Bye, Mom! See you later!"


"Come on, man. Get this over with. I'm hungry."


"Why the hell aren't you on that bus?"

"Yeah I was gonna go to school but, is that what I think it is??"


"It IS!!! MUAHAHAHAAAAA!!!"


"I really wanted to see a ghost!"

"Hurry it up, Tubbs. Damn!!"

"You are the rudest woman I have ever met."

Coming up, more murder and mayhem as Stella does married life, again.











No comments:

Post a Comment