G9, P5: Doing A Buck

"It doesn't matter, I'm coming right back."

"That's not how it works."

"I'm special, newbie. Really Fucking Special."


Damn right.


Last chapter, Stella got married, divorced, killed, resurrected, had another baby, kissed a married man, and got arrested after killing my simself - again.

"Cheating asshole."

You two kissed ONCE. That's his wife.

"I KNOW that! That's what I meant."

Rolled as she was being arrested for killing me.

"Why aren't you in prison?"

"Shut up, bitch. I did my time."

"*SOB* The system is broken and my husband is dead!!"

"Why are you so upset about it? He cheated on you, right in front of you."

"I still love him!"

"I don't even know what that means."

Later that day,

"I am so sick of you skulking around, talking to everybody all the damn time!!"

"Well you're no basket of sunshine and roses yourself."

"I'm devastated."

"I should have done this years ago."

Finally. I thought Lester might get to die of old age.

Stella: "This is kind of fun."

Sure, Lester looks like he's having a blast.

"Hey, Freak!"

"Oh no! LESTER!!!"

"No one else is ever going to marry me!!"

"Yeah, that's probably true."

"This is awesome!!"

"Beg all you want, Uncle Les, you're finally out of here."

"Move it, freak."

Buck: "Wow, Stella! I can't believe you agreed to go out on a date with me!"

"You know, this guy's not bad."

LOL!! So much for finding someone hotter.

No sweat.

The date went well.

"BOOOOO!! I can't believe Buck is cheating on Kat with that whore!"

Very, very well.

Meanwhile, Virginia also got asked out on a date.

"What the fuck? He's ancient!"

Virginia, this may be a set-up.

"What the hell is wrong with your family??"

"The fuck are you talking about??"

"Wait a minute, are you really a Fox? You look nothing like them. How many birth defects can one person have?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? You ask me out on a date, insult me, then sit there and play the piano like it ain't no thing??"

Did she kill him? No. No she did not.

"Please move, Jenny. I'm going out."

"Nah, I kinda like it right here."

After much foot tapping on both sides, she finally moved.

Wei and his superior morality hit the bowling alley,

and hook up with a married, pregnant woman.

"Well, Blair, I was married but I realized what a huge mistake it was when I witnessed my ex-wife engaging in .... criminal activity. I'm not down with that sort of thing so I divorced her."

"Oh Wei, that's so ......... sexy."

"Oh yeah, baby!"

Ew.

Not Wei.

"Do you have to document this?"

You're the one who wished to woohoo with him.

Erik and Jenny get a pool party. Half of the guests cheer for them, the other half, including their siblings/cousins/generationals, decide to stay in the pool.

Jadzia gets out.

But she ain't cheering.  I cannot believe that a teen with no family traits has wished, a second time, to kill someone.

Emerald is at her boyfriend's house.

"Uh, there's a mermaid coming up the front walk."

Bet this isn't how Emerald ever pictured her death.

"Oh my god!! Aren't you going to die out of the water??"

"What? NO!!"

"YOU are going to die out of the water."

"Mermaid? More like merBITCH."

"OH NO!! Does our homeowner's insurance cover this?"

Jeffrey: "I get to be the grieving boyfriend and not the asshole who dumped her!!!"

Grim: "Tee-hee, where is the deceased?"

"Hey! Down here!!"

"Down where?"

Fortunately, Grim doesn't have to be looking for it to take.

Emerald is unlucky! Sorry, Jeffrey. You'll have to be that asshole.

Meanwhile, back at the pool.........

Bill is Dennis Racket's brother. They look a lot alike.

"I can't believe you're walking around, free as a bird, after what you did to my brother."

John: "Hey, did the kids grow up or what?? Pictures???"

At some point. Priorities, John. Be a Fox.

"If you miss Dennis so much, Bill, you can join him."

"*gasp* I don't miss him that much! *wheeze*"

"Yeah, me neither."

"I never really miss anyone, if we're being honest."

"BYE!!"

Grim: "*tut* Don't worry, ladies! We'll still have a fine show without her!"

Virginia: "Everything's better without her."

The next day ...........

"Ugh, now what does she want?"

More honor roll rage.

"I'm so tired of you."

"What??"

"You get your father's skin and that makes you better than me?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't say that! I've never said that!"

"You called me crazy and soulless."

"Oh, that."

"Um, I hear yelling. Should we go investigate, Stel?"

"Eh, maybe in a minute."

"A minute?"

"It is you, Buck."

"Yes, THAT, you little bitch."

"MOM!!!"

Buck: "Oh my god!! Is she???"

Stella: "Dammit, Virginia! I wanted to kill that little bitch!!"

They rolled it at pretty much the same time, but since Stella was in the middle of porking Buck, I let Virginia have it. Don't worry, Stella.

You still get to kill Jade.

"No flower, no Mulligan. Now get up, you're embarrassing yourself."

Here's the thing. I like Jadzia, and she's shown herself to be a true Fox, but I don't like alien dna spreading all over town. I don't like her enough to keep her, so I let her go.

Coming up next chapter, Virginia finally comes into her own, and gets revenge on Stella.