Wednesday, May 3, 2017

G5, P4: A Little Less Conversation, A Whole Lot More Murder

"About time you showed, Regan."

"The invitation said 4pm, it's 4pm. I'm right on time."

"On time and out of time."

Elvis finally crosses the last person off his list.

*sigh*  I think all of these people are at the party.

Ari is first.

Next is Wilbur.

"This is a terrible party!"

"I couldn't agree more!"

"God this never gets old!!"

Elvis, for crying out loud!!

"Don't yell at me, bitch! I'll do what I want!! BOOOOOOOOO!!"

"Dad, I thought this was supposed to be my birthday party."

"It is, honey, but Dad's got important shit to do. You'll understand some day."

And down goes Sadie. I'm trying to clear as many off the list as I can before he gets arrested, if he'll stop booing and gloating.

"What are YOU boo-hooing about?"

"You're getting all the kills and I'm getting ignored!!"

"As is right and proper, you whore."

Regan: "This is the worst party I've ever been to."

Grim: "Speak for yourself! I must say that if a Fox is going to go on a spree, I appreciate them doing it Death Party style. I like being able to stay on one lot and get all my work done."

I decided to make Elvis run for it, for the lot next door. I hoped the cops would come and go and then he could go back and keep going down the list.

It didn't go well.

Damn, look at them all.

"Yes!! They need THREE pigs to bring ME in!!"

"Sir, it's hot. If you could just get in the air-conditioned car, that'd be great."


At least Winnie's brother and one of her school friends came to cheer.

"Excuse me, I believe at least one other person cheered."

"You know, it's nice to celebrate a birthday, instead of the exact opposite, once in awhile. BLAAATTT!!!!"

Bronwyn rolled odd for her trait and is now an insane, evil, heavy sleeper who is also hot-headed.

Rolled in jail.

Later that night, Elvis gets out of jail and tracks down Paige at the foreign market.

"I'm calling security."

"This makes me so happy!"

That's great. There's a house right across the street. You gotta run for it before the cops come! We've got a long list and night time is perfect for nailing potential teenagers who might otherwise be in school.

"That's right! Die bitch!!"

Come on, Elvis. The clock's ticking.

"And she looks TERRIBLE in orange!! She'll look grotesque for all eternity!!"

Yes, you're very proud. We all get it. Now get moving before you get arrested again!



"Okay, okay, I'm going. Damn."


"Look, tomorrow is Saturday. It's not that big a deal."

*hours later*

 "*grump* I'm sparkling."

It's from the elixir, it'll go away in a second.


"You may want to leave. Like, now."

"Uh, should I leave, too?"

"No Doris, you stay right there."

"These overalls are a crime against simanity."

"Well I like them."

"And don't get me started on your hair."

"MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! And Riverview just got a tiny bit more fashionable."

Maybe you should get that.

"No, no dates right now. I'm terribly busy."

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Why yes, Zane, yes you can."

"You can die."


"Aw MAN!! This ain't fair! I never got to woohoo or nothin'."

"What is he doing?"



Crying. You know, when tears come out of your eyes because you're really sad, or happy, or angry?

"Really? Ichhh. Sounds tacky."

"And tomorrow is my pay day!!"

"Oh come on. How much money could you have possibly been getting, anyway?"

Time to go, Elvis.

He made it to the house next door with no minimal gloating.

"Where is the deceased?"

"*moan* *wibble*"

"Hello?? Anyone?? Has there been a mistake?"


"*sigh* Cheap ass alert system. I need a bat signal."

So Elvis managed to NOT get his ass arrested this time. Way to go, big guy! But Kerry, Alejandra, and Sheryl are all role sims who are not currently in town. So Elvis went home to chill for awhile.

"Did this belong to my grandfather?"

I don't know what's supposed to be on those pipes, but rust is not that color.

Alejandra finally shows up on the festival grounds.

"I guess this is why my contract had a 'liability exemption in case of murder' clause."

LOL! Make up your mind, you twisted sicko.

Luckily for us, not for her, Marjorie was very easy to find.

"Ugh, who is screaming? This is not helping my headache."

"OWWW!! I should have called in sick."

"Do I have time to teleport?"


Lydia attends a pool party at this lovely abode, which I really need to save so I can put it in Twinbrook. Guess you're swimming in the pond, Lyds.


"What the hell kind of pool party is this? Where am I supposed to swim? In the tub?"

"I never said there was swimming! You can sit by the firepit and get some sun, or you can leave if it bothers you that much."

You had it coming, Jasmin. It's not a pool party without a pool.

"There's no pool but they can have two firepits?"

"*gasp* I should have sprung *wheeze* for a destination party."

I will say this for Riverview, the homeless population is immaculately dressed.

Up and at 'em, kiddo, shit to do, sims to kill.

First, he heads over to Michaela's house.

"We're not that easy, you sick fuck."

At 2am, right as Elvis arrived, Michaela and her entire household got in a cab and left.

So Elvis uses their shower while waiting for them to come back.

The game kept insisting that he leave the house, so he tracked them down in town, at the elixir shop.

"Where is she?"

"Whoa, what the crap are you wearing?"

"It's .... it's my Halloween costume."

"What? It's not Halloween! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Why can no one dress themselves in this town?"

"Well, I'll just be going."

Not so fast, Clark.

"This is for copying my hairstyle, you twit."

"Oh sweet Michaela, at least we will die together!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Romeo."

Bad day to go to the elixir shop, Judson.

"I work here."

Oh. Well, you were doomed anyway.

"Is it too late to quit?"

"I think he's done for the night."


And one more for good measure.

He barely made it out of the police station.

I give him an elixir when he wakes up. He's got a long list and I need him to stay awake.

At least it's a weekend. Marisol is first, she's at home watching tv.

"*derp* I think I've been stabbed."

Cop: "It's not a good time, honey."

"*moan* Mom? Dad?"

"Sorry sweetheart. Woohoo first, mourning second."

What the hell are you doing?

"I gotta talk to this guy."

Elvis actually walked OUT of the house to go and get arrested. He only got in one kill, you dumbass!

Meanwhile, the rest of the family is at the festival, where everything goes to shit.

"God, this place is such a dump."

"BOOBITCH (boo bitch, boob itch, your call)!!"


"Heh-heh. This place is fun!"

"Oh you little shit!!"

Of course.

"Fuck you, Winnie."

"What is she doing? Why isn't she dying?"

"Sebastian, you will not believe what your bitch ass mother just did...."

"*gasp* I will be *cough* avenged!!"

"Whatever, you delusional twat."


Your sister's dead, Blaine.

"Not now! I'm going for the trophy!!"

"Another Fox? Should I even bother?"

Oh stop it. You love the flowers.

"You're right, I do."

Why do I get the feeling that we are going to be using a lot of flowers today?

"How could you kill Winnie? She's your niece!!"

"So what? She's annoying as hell. And she'll be right back."

"Not good enough."

"What are you going to do about it?"


"Pfft. You use a knife like a preschooler stabbing play doh. *sip*"

"Now THIS was worth coming home for!!"

"You could've died at the festival and saved me a trip."

"Hey, Auntie! I wasn't gleeful at your death or nothin'.  *sniff sniff* See? I was very sad."

Mmmhmmm. You know she wasn't gonna let that go.

"Ha ha!! You're it!!"

"What are you doing? Why am I wet? Why are you in your underwear? I am NOT comfortable with this!"

You stick around at your own risk, Grimmy.

Sebastian had gone to work, so Lydia's got to wait a few hours. But no worries, Elvis has been sprung so he can further entertain us.

First is Ida, playing video games at home.

"Read a book, once in awhile, kid."

You've never read a non-work related book in your life.

"That's neither here nor there."

At the same time, back at home.....

"I should've known."

"So sorry, you little asshole. NOT."

"This is for being a disloyal little bastard!"

"*wheeze* Elvis was right about you."

Unfortunately for Tamera, she lives in the same house as Ida, seeing as she is one of Ida and Michaela's mothers.

"No!! My sweet baby! You MONSTER!!"

"Quit blubbering. You'll see her soon enough."

"Damn! I lost weight!"

At this point neither Kerry or Sheryl have been in town for more than 24 hours. I deleted their wishes/crossed them off and am not going to worry about it. Twenty kills, starting way back with Stephanie on the front porch. Elvis' personal best so far.

We'll end it here. Coming up, more parties, and of course Elvis can't hold a job.

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