Friday, February 24, 2017
Generation One: Getting Off To A Solid Start
Say "hi" to Kris and Barbra Fox, don't they look thrilled to be here?
Welcome to the first generation of the Family of Blood challenge. If you somehow missed it, you can read about what the hell this challenge is, as well as a few relevant disclaimers, here.
Anyway, why are Kris and Barb so fucking cranky? Let's start with Kris.
Kris is hot-headed, therefore it pisses him right off that I made him an unlucky loser. Also, he's the male version of my simself, as in I went into Create A Sim, brought up my simself, changed her gender, and called it good. It's worth pointing out that "hot-headed" is the only trait original to this sim, all the others were changed for the challenge.
It's not worth pointing out (but I'm going to anyway) that when I initially put Kris into a town (not playing him, just tossing him in to sink or swim) he immediately found and hooked up with my actual simself. They got married and had a child, cause that's how vain and sick I am.
My actual simself is a fixed point in time and space in all my games. Even when she dies, she always comes back. So you'll see her now and again in this story, sooner than later in fact.
I imagine that Barb is pissed because she's already done this legacy-challenge-sim story bullshit and is not pleased with having to do it again. Unfortunately for her, I love her, therefore I recycled her.
Kris and Barb have been plonked down in one of the starter homes in Riverview.
Isn't it lovely?
Barb: "This is a huge downgrade from what I'm used to."
She was the seventh generation heir of a ten generation challenge, so she's not accustomed to founder living. It could be worse, this could be a Pinstar legacy and you'd be living on the lawn.
Barb: "Now I really need a job."
I send Barb to get a job at the criminal warehouse, and take an athletics class. Kris takes a gardening class, registers as a self-employed gardener, and gets planting in the yard.
"Hold on, my lifetime wish is to crossbreed robots with as-of-yet-undisclosed creatures. Shouldn't I get a job at the science building?"
No time for that right now, man. You're going to be the designated grower of death flowers and life fruit, and obtainer of deathfish. You've got way too much to do to be farting around with a 9-5.
"Then why did you give me that lifetime wish?"
I'm thinking that you'll be able to get a steady job later.
"We're not going to have any money."
Barb's handling it.
"Alright, I already snagged the light, so this should be a piece of cake."
"Statue? What statue?"
So this is a "Killer" legacy, which means murder is always on the agenda. Barb didn't waste any time. On her first day at work she wished to see the ghost of one of her co-workers.
In this case, Kristin is my simself. Yes, the very first sim someone wishes to kill in this challenge is my simself. I can't even get mad.
"Hey Kristin, it's Barb. ................. Yeah great, how are you? ................ Uh-huh, look, can we meet up? I've got something to ask you."
"Oh, nothing much. Just a few questions about the house. ................. great! I'll see you there."
"Look Barb, I know you don't like the house. I know it's not what you're used to. You'll only have to put up with it for a little while. I promise, as soon as you have enough money I'll add on."
"Can I get a hot tub?"
"Oh for pete's sake, Barb! Hot tubs are really expensive. *sigh* It's possible, no promises."
"Promises? I don't give a fuck about promises! I give a fuck about having a halfway decent standard of living!! You stuck me with a gardener, for fuck's sake!! A GARDENER!!! How is he going to make any money? Plus he's ugly as hell! If you had to marry me off, at least pick somebody hot!"
"Well Barb, you're not the one in charge, I am. And you're going to have to get over it!"
"Oh REALLY? We'll just see about that."
"Talk to somebody who cares, Barb. I'm out."
LOL! Barb tried to do the deed but I wouldn't stand still. That's okay. I know where I live.
"Hey Mom, someone's at the door."
"Damn it, Barb, I'm not discussing this anymore."
"I''m not here to talk."
"Take THAT, you stingy bitch!"
"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm the first one killed in this stupid challenge? You ungrateful asshole!!"
"Ha HAAA!! That's right, motherfucker! I rule THIS game!!"
"Eh, like I care. I'm coming right back."
"Yeah you are. This is a huge waste of my time. I don't even get a cute little flower for it."
A new copy of my simself was in the house before Barb even made it home.
"Oh yeah baby. I'm tired of taking cabs everywhere."
"What? I had to do something, the truck was too identifiable. It had blue rims for shit's sake. BLUE RIMS!"
"I love it!!"
"Pffft, nice outfit. It's only, like, 80 degrees out."
"Fuck off lady, before I strangle you with that corset."
Generation two is on the way.
"See? Now THIS is a house!!"
Cutie: "I feel like I should not have invited this woman in."
Barb decided to visit one of the biggest, most modern looking houses one can find in map view.
It turns out that most rich people in Riverview park their cars in garages.
"Oh what the hell??"
Lol! Typical. Try again.
"I guess I'll be going, now."
Generation One ends with Barb chatting up Sinbad Rotter, who recently moved to Riverview from Twinbrook.
"I had no idea when I decided to move here that almost everyone uses garages. I mean, does no one trust anybody anymore? And where have you been? I haven't seen you at work in ages. That Kristin Bitch has been unbearable, strutting around like she owns the place. Someone really needs to take her down a peg."
"Wait, Kristin SIMSELF? She's alive???"
Coming up next chapter, generation two and lots and lots of kids. And maybe a hot tub.
YA-Elder commits murder: 1