Sunday, February 26, 2017

G2, P1: That's A Lot Of Boys

"Hey babe, how come you don't look pregnant in your bathing suit?"

"I'm not pregnant, you moron, I had the baby late last night."

"Uh, what?"

Barb and Kris welcomed the second generation of homicidal maniacs in the form of little Mary. Yes, she's a toddler. No, I didn't age her up early. No, nothing of note happened in the two days she was a featureless worm in a pink blanket.

Mary was born with heavy sleeper locked in, and rolled odd, and then evil for her second trait.

Kris and Barb, mostly Barb, brought in enough money for me to build Kris a greenhouse. Winter cannot get in the way of the growing of death flowers, life fruit, and money trees.

"I knooow what youuuuuuu diiiiid."

"*derp* Whut?"

Oh for crying out loud.

Kristin! Go back to your grave! You have no business wandering around town in the middle of the day. Besides, Barb killed you, not Kris.

"Barb's at home. That's too far away from the graveyard to float."

"Remember Mary, there's no courts here in Riverview. If you get busted by the police you're going straight to jail, so you gotta be prepared."


Yes, Barb is pregnant, again.

Meet Warren, who rolled even for both of his traits, so he's athletic and loves the outdoors.

"You're gonna pay for this treachery, you bitch."

"I doubt it, baby girl."


"Where the hell is Kris?"

"Uh, is it supposed to look like a mangled corpse?"

He's doing very important shit, Barb. Kris spends most of his days gardening (with the goal of getting to level 7 so he can plant specials) and fishing all the live long day. I want enough death fish to stock a pond.

"What the hell do you mean 'you didn't record my new trait'? That's kind of important in this game, isn't it?"

It is. I don't know how it happened. I swear I took a screenshot. I'm wondering if I'm not paying attention and accidentally overwrote the previous file in Paint.

I know Mary was able to roll for her trait and that she got a family trait. I think she's evil. I just looked ahead and I didn't record her teen trait, either. Now I know I'm fucking up in Paint. If you don't change the file name between saves, it automatically overwrites your prior save (saves the new file under the previous file name). I must be doing that. Damn it. Although in her case it doesn't end up mattering. Sorry, SPOILERS.

"So, how many kids are we gonna have?"

"As many as I want."

She keeps wishing for them. The new baby is home less than one day when she wishes for another. It's all good as having lots of kids tends to work out well for this challenge.

"WAAAHHH!!! I'm lonely!! Someone come play wif me before I kill the pink elphunts and all of you!!"

Max rolled even for both of his traits, so I had to randomize. The game randomly gave him evil and insane. It's nice when things work out.

"Three little brothers. Ugh."

"Four kids. We're screwed."

You are not. Those money trees are starting to come in. I sent him all over town looking for special seeds (exhibit D why he doesn't have a regular job) and they are finally starting to show themselves.

Max is cute, at any rate.

Kris finally caught enough deathfish to stock a pond. I walled the pond off with the garden in hopes that it wouldn't freeze over in the winter, it's so much easier to send Kris to the backyard any time of day than to the graveyard really late at night. But it froze over anyway. Crud. I think I needed to put the fish in a pool, not a pond. Oh well. I unwalled off the pond.

"Are you going to arrest me?"

"Uh, no. I live here. I'm just telling you that you're being inappropriate and you need to leave."

"Oh. Great! Bye!"

She stole his tub/shower combo right in front of him and all he did was kick her out.

"YES!  Finally!"

Don't get too excited. You're about to pop, again.

Warren is now a child. He rolled odd for his trait, so he's now athletic, loves the outdoors, and insane. So the kids are getting some family traits, but I'd like to do better.

"Oh my god. Again??"

"Unclench, Mary. We finally expanded the house, so you get your own room."

Barb, YOU are her mother.

"Fuck, that's right. Ugh. Nevermind."

Anyway,I decided to expand down instead of up, so there's a fairly large basement under the house, I only had to add a somewhat space-sucking staircase because FOUNDATION. I didn't take any picures, but it adds two bedrooms, a large rec area, and a bathroom.

"There you go, Max! Now bite down as hard as you can and swallow!"

Mary gets the game's first party for her teen birthday.

"I wish to be a force to be reckoned with!"

She looks a lot like her mother. As I mentioned previously, I lost the screenshot with her trait. She was able to roll for it, I know she got a family trait as I was planning to keep her around. I'm pretty sure it was hot-headed.

Kris becomes an adult.

"And I'm not pregnant anymore!!"

Yeah, yeah. She had another blue worm. You'll see him in a minute.

Max became a child. He rolled even for his trait, so he's now an evil, insane cat-person. Swell. Sounds like failed super-villain.

"Can I adopt a ..?"

Not right now. If you're still alive for your young adult birthday, and I decide to keep you around, you can get a cat.

"What do you mean, IF I'm still alive?"

You'll see.

And here's Jason. He rolled odd for both traits, so he's evil and insane as well.

Sure, why do your homework in your nice, warm house when you can do it by the side of the road, freezing your ass off,

with your sister.

You know, I don't get points for you all becoming simsicles.

"Look, at least I didn't freeze."

"I'm sure your parents will take that into consideration when they ream you out."

"Pfft. Please. My mother doesn't give a shit."

"It's true, I don't."

"Thanks, Mom. Night!"


Warren (remember him?) gets his party on the festival grounds.

The blond chick is the only one to come cheer, although you know there won't be any cake leftovers. Sims are such mooches.

Mary is excused. She's off getting a green boyfriend. Her boyfriend already had a boyfriend, like that even matters.

Aw. He's cute! He reminds me of 411, Barb's first kid in her other story. He rolled odd for his trait, so he's now insane, athletic, loves the outdoors, and hot-headed.

Maybe he reminds Barb a little too much of 4.

"Why the HELL are you such a simpering little baby??"

"Woman, what the FUCK are you talking about?"

Freakin' finally. I can't believe we went this long with no kill wishes.

"Wrong end of the hammer, you dumb bitch."

"It's working, isn't it?"

"You both need to shut the fuck up. I'm trying to think over here."

"Damn it, Mom! I can't believe you killed me with the handle of a hammer!"

"Heh-heh. Buh-bye, motherfucker!!"

"And where is the deceased?"

"Ahhh, a firey death! One of my favorites!"

No, he was bludgeoned with a hammer.


Yes, I know. Don't overthink it.

"HA!! Not today, Satan!!"

"Awesome! Thanks, man!"

"Thank you for the flower. They're my very favorite!"

"Oh you wait, you little bastard! You. Just. Wait."

Not one hour later.

Really, Mary?

"Look, I've got four, FOUR little brothers now. I DON'T WANT TO SHARE A ROOM!!"

Oh right, Barb had the baby. Eh, you'll all see him soon enough.

"OW!! What the fuck, Mary??"

Really, Mary? You're going to Lorena Bobbitt him?

"Come on, Grim! I'm just a kid, plus I already died once today!"

"Do you have another flower?"


"Then stop wasting my precious time, for pity's sake. Into the ground with you!"

Yeah, no more flowers, Warren. I liked you enough to give you one. I'm not giving you two. If someone gets the science building opportunity, I'll think about it.

"Ahhhhh. What a great night!"

Reign it in, Barb. The over the top display of emotion is embarrassing.

"I knew we'd be able to get a hot tub!"

Thus endth Generation Two, Part One. Coming up, you'll actually get to see Zed, baby number five. Barb squeezes out another one, and the townsfolk start dropping.

I'll do a tally once this generation is actually over.

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