Killer Legacy, Man! : G8, P9: A Lot Of Murder And Not Much Else

"This is so awesome! All that old dude does is play gnubb. I can eat whatever I want with no one to bother me!"

"And no one to tell me to get off the computer! This is the life!"

Last chapter the only adults in the house, Stuart and Tyler, got locked up, and the two teenagers, Stella and Virginia, are currently sitting in little tin boxes in the foyer, hoping to get resurrected whenever Stuart and Tyler see fit to get around to it. So that leaves Idionka and Tango Jr. to their own devices, as the elderly babysitter the game autonomously hired for them prefers playing gnubb to actually interacting with his charges.

"Yayyyy, the green bitch is dead!!!"

Idionka has her teen birthday in the hallway with no one but her half-brother and Chester the weird babysitter.

"Holy shit! Where did the troll come from??"

And a newly sprung Stuart.

"I hate him."

Happy Birthday, Idionka.

She didn't get to roll for her trait, so she's now a clumsy, easily impressed daredevil, who could fairly easily find the pink diamonds laying around Sunset Valley if I ever see fit to let her out of the house.

Stuart immediately goes off in search of Roman. I'm hoping he won't throw anymore wishes after this so I can bring at least one of the girls back.

"Hmmmm, my fight or flight instinct wants to kick in."

"So I'll just stand here."

He throws one more wish. And let's be honest, with that face? Kill it!! Kill it with fire!!

Or a fireplace poker, that works, too.

Stuart seems content for the moment, so I send him to resurrect Virginia.

Meanwhile, Tyler is sprung and starts working down his list, starting with Elisa.

"Ugh, not who I wanted to see right after being resurrected."

"Shut up, you little brat. I'm not thrilled about this either."

Tyler moves on to Talia, who lives in the same house as Elisa.

"Yesssss!! I'm back, bitches!!"

Virginia is happy.

So is Talia, since she is unlucky.

Tyler kills John next, who also lives in the Death House.

He moves on to a different house to dispatch Heather, significant other to Miraj, the only surviving Alvi and one of the few original townies still alive.

Dawn cracks and Tyler heads over to my simself's old ~~orphanage~~ house, where Langston, son of Christopher Steele, still lives.

Heather and Eleanor both live here, and both make a run for it OUT of the house. Goddammit.

He catches Eleanor first.

"This is for trying to get me arrested, bitch."

As she ghostifies I have him run back into the house (up two flights of fucking stairs that he has to slow down to go up because SIMS) to avoid the cops.

Heather: "OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohMYGOD!!!!!"

Tyler makes it into the house and doesn't get arrested. But then this autonomously happens,

Tyler soundly kicks Langston's ass.

Because he's got time to waste since Heather wants to tap dance on my very last nerve by needing to faint twice. Once for GRIM and once for GHOST.

He finally catches her.

"I don't fucking care how much you have to pee, I'm fucking exhausted!!"

Thankfully he doesn't pass out, and makes it to their couch to take a nap, waiting out Grim and the police.

One more on the list.

He locates Hank Goddard out by City Hall.

Hank: "Are you sure this is going to work? I am outside a rabbithole."

Shit. I forgot about that.

"I don't think it took."

No, no it didn't.

And Tyler gets arrested, again.

"You need to put the front door closer to the street."

*hours later*

Yep, that looks about right. The elixir shop has not had any invigorating elixirs as of late. So when Foxes get stuck in a streak-arrest cycle, they eventually pass out.

This time Tyler finds Hank at the coffee shop. Not a rabbithole but the arrest rate is high.

Especially when you roll wishes to kill other sims currently at said coffee house.

Lucy stands around like a quarter-wit while Hank has to stop sobbing before hitting the ground.

Tyler: "*sigh* And they don't even let you sleep in jail."

"No sir, it's dominoes or bust."

These two are going to have to wait.

Wait, did you get an actual job?

"Look, I'm not saying the snotty kid was right, but I need to do something besides go to bars."

He rolled several job wishes and this is the one that makes the most sense.

"Also, that crazy chick Uncle Alex brought home works here. She's the receptionist and seems to think it's some kind of warehouse."

We'll see if Celina survives being Stuart's co-worker.

"This is such bullshit. How come you got resurrected while I'm stuck needing to shower All The Time?"

"I'm better than you."

"Fuck off."

"Look bitch, I don't need to sleep. I rest my mind an hour or two a night and I'm good to go, so I'm a skilling ninja. I can already plant special seeds in the garden, and I might actually learn enough cooking to make ambrosia before I become a young adult. AND I can fix shit around the house WITH MY MIND. No more paying some stupid repairsim 50 simoleons to stand around and get distracted by Stuart and Tyler. What, may I ask, the fuck do you actually do besides start fights and complain?"

"Who the fuck do you think is going to have kids, you ugly ass freak? It sure as hell ain't going to be you. It's bad enough that people think you're my actual sister so your fugly genes are swimming around in my dna somewhere. Let's not make the next generation suffer anymore than they have to."

"Sorry, I couldn't understand a word you just fucking said through that 'dead as a doornail, ghosty, vocoder' thing you got going on. Tyler and Stuart probably forgot about you. Sad."

I love both of the girls, and I swear I'm making Tyler bring Stella back as soon as he stops wanting to kill people, or at least pares the list down to unavailable sims. But if I have to choose between the two, I'm going with the chick who doesn't even need a bed and can fix all the things.

Tyler gets out of jail and keeps on groovin'.

Madison and Julian conveniently live in the same house. Alright, Ty, get this done and try not to throw anymore wishes because I'd really like to bring Stella back.

*promptly wishes to kill Tracy, the child in the green suit*

No, Tyler.

He makes quick work of both of them.

Julian: "Come on, man, I'm on your side here!"

"Then you get it, Julian."

"Noooooooooooooo......."

And he's done. Tyler stops throwing kill wishes. A 14 sim streak, starting with Virginia.

"About time, you useless motherfucker."

Because this game likes to vacillate between fuck-all happening and "everything at once", Stella gets to cheer for Tango Jr. while either waiting for Tyler to make ambrosia or for Stuart to get home. I honestly can't remember if Tyler knows how to make it at this point.

Arlo Bunch: "Uhhhh, did I miss Grim? I know it's par for the course at Fox parties but this ghost kind of appeared out of nowhere."

Don't sweat it, Arlo. Also, I apologize for the camera angle. That's a side of Idionka no one wants to see.

Tango got "neat" for his new trait. So he is mean-spirited and insane, but also good and neat. No wonder he's so pissed off.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!!!"

"You're waiting for me to get out of work, by the way. Tyler is a fucking idiot."

Well there you go.

Stella gets to scare Virginia one last time.

Before becoming a real girl, again.

It was inevitable.

"Good lord, I can't even look at you."

"The feeling is mutual, Stuart."

"You can't look at you, either? Makes sense."

"No, I can't look at YOU, you asshole."

"Well I guess you'll be going, then."

Fox Family Problem Solving 101

"Just don't *gasp* make me spend *wheeze* eternity with my parents!!"

"She's not going to stay there, right?"

You never had a chance, Idionka.

"Thanks a fucking heap, Stuart. Now I really am the ugliest one in this house."

"Get a real problem, kid."

"Come on, man! I've never looked this good!"

"Hmmmm......."

"Nope! Bye!!"

Idionka, Mel, and Tango all get relocated to the family graveyard across the street. Maybe Idionka and Elvis can hang.

Well isn't this special? And problematic. I've mentioned before that death flower seeds seem hard to come by in SV. Stuart and Virginia have, between them, grown dozens of special seeds. I think we've gotten 2, maybe 3 death flowers since the move. This is going to go defcon 5 pretty fast at the rate these guys want to kill each other. I may have to introduce evil and hot-headed as trait choices again, as all these mean-spirited kids want to wipe each other out. Well, Stella really. And Tango Jr. ain't kidding around.

"WHAT THE HELL??"

"Fuck off, Stuart."

"That was my dad, Stella."

He's all y'alls ~~sperm donor~~ dad.

"You suck, Stella!! It was better when you were dead!!"

Quit dicking around and kill her, Junior.

"Relax, I know what I'm doing."

My beloved, unlucky Stuart comes right back, no death flower required.

"WHERE are my muscles? I actually worked out for that shit!! What the fuck??"

"I don't even get a flower from you so I don't want to hear about it."

Stella had a flower.

"Can't the green kid do this?"

She's got other stuff to do right now, and you are otherwise useless. We're in dire need of more death flowers, so get planting before 5am.

"Mmmm, nah. There's something else I need to do."

"I've changed my mind!"

I don't think that's an option.

LOL! Here we go, again. I've never had a sim get abducted a second time before.

"NOOOOO!!! I don't want to!!!"

"HEEEEEELLLLLLP!!!!!"

Bye, Stu!!

"Hee-hee-hee!"

An hour or so later...

"You ugly ass, bitch!! I am gonna..."

"No you're not."

"HEY!! I was talking to you! GET BACK HERE!!!"

Stuart, go plant those damn seeds like I told you to.

He did not, to some mild disappointment, get pregnant again.

I could just send her across the street at night, but where's the fun in that?

"According to the map view thing, there's someone home in this house."

Aric is completely unfazed by the hammer-wielding teenager waltzing uninvited through his kitchen.

"This is some good jam!"

"Although............... I thought it was grape, not strawberry."

"Mmmmmm, jam!"

"How about this asshole?"

No.

"Oh come on!"

I said no, Stella.

"How about him? He's an idiot."

Sure.

"Oh mah gawd, Stella Fox!! Maybe I kin finally ask her out."

"I don't think so, Erich."

"What the?? OWWWWWWW!!!"

Poor Erich. He was new in town and obviously didn't get the Fox briefing.

"And the SAME goes for your MOTHER!!"

He ran into her at Waylon's.

"Dumb bitch."

"I don't even know you!"

"Shut up! I'm not talking to you."

"You're hardly all that, you little snot."

"She's a snot but you're a jackass."

So much love in this family.

And it's costing us bundles of death flowers. Damn you and your late in life killer streak, Tyler. I thought for sure I'd have let you go long before now.

"Stupid little shiiiiiitttttsss............."

"I'd better be able to get past you assholes to the table, I'm fucking starving."

TJ is supposed to be good, it generally doesn't show.

*sigh*

I don't know why I felt the need to explain. Maybe because it's 10am and Stella isn't in school?

"I'm watching tv, what the hell do you want?"

Cause lord knows Stuart doesn't care if she goes to school or not.

"Oh you're fucking kidding me?"

"Shut up, you worthless piece of shit."

"I'm coming right back, idiot, and I don't need one of those stupid flowers."

"I know that, you fuck. Running you through is fun all on it's own."

Don't tell Stella but she absolutely takes after her father.

She quickly finds someone at the park. And I do mean she and not I. I sent her to the park to wait around, next thing I know she's running up to this guy.