"You are SUCH an asshole, Dad! I don't know why you have to be so mean all the time!"
Didn't sound like a request for a demonstration to me, but whatevs.
"Shut up, Marie!! You don't know shit!"
"Shut up yourself you little bastard!"
"You're what, seven? Get back to me in about ten years when you have one hint of a clue!"
"And the moon never changes! I'll bet it's your fault!"
"ARGH!! You're both fucking crazy!!"
"Damn, you all are loud! Some of us had a really long night and were sound asleep, you know!"
"Mr. Fox, you're going to have to come with me."
"Who the FUCK are you?"
"I think I'm going to go pick out which bed is mine."
"Is there a responsible adult to take care of this child? Or do I need to make some calls?"
"HA!! Fuck my dad! I'm not going yet!"
Marie successfully bribes Grim into letting her live.
Because fixing the shower is too pedestrian.
"GODDAMMIT SEBASTIAN!! THIS BETTER NOT START ANOTHER FIRE!"
"YEAH!! This is fucking awesome!!"
It did not start a fire but the explosion left one hell of a mess. And Sebastian did not take well to his wife's protests.
"Fucking bitch."
"Zzzzz can I trade him in for festival tickets? zzzzzZ"
"I hate him."
"I don't know what happened to him, Zed. He's not the man I married."
"Yeah, that's what Carissa said, too, and look at what happened to her."
"Who's Carissa?"
"My brother's wife. She thought the world of him and he killed her ass while she slept."
"Who IS this guy and why is Virginia talking to him?"
I suppose her flaw would be talking to your Great-Great Uncle.
"Getting all uppity? Think you're better than me?"
"I am better than you, you heartless murderer!"
"Oh god, she's right!"
"God I love this house! All this death makes me feel so alive!!"
Blah blah Virginia doesn't die blah blah
"You look familiar. Have we met?"
"Sure have! Many times. I'm Zed. I died a couple of times before doing it for the long haul. It's been over 60 years, but I finally remembered that I can cook ambrosia!"
"Who do you think you are?? You think you can cheat death after sixty years?? Nice try son, but I'll be back for you. You just wait."
Well, Grim took that more personally than I anticipated.
No idea why, but she's working so he'll have to wait.
Honor roll rage. And right before Tesla's birthday party, because heaven forbid someone blow out some candles with no deaths.
"We've been over this. You look absolutely ridiculous in that suit."
"I love this suit! And I don't give one shit about what you think."
Bastian was so fast that I missed it.
"Unfortunately, the asshole didn't miss."
"*yawn* Bored now. I guess I'll go check out this 'party'."
Or he'll just get arrested.
"It's not my fault! All these people suddenly showed up and I couldn't get through the gate!"
"And I picked this one myself!!"
During all this hullabaloo Rey gets off work, so Zed zaps into action.
"This thing is so cool! I'm all here, right? Nothing important got left at the house?"
"This is for being ass-ugly."
"I just know there is a way to blame my mother for this."
My grandson, Theo, sits and contemplates the complete dissolution of his childhood innocence.
“All is the fear, and nothing is the love, as little is the wisdom, where the flight so runs against all reason.”
Can the drama, kid. You still have your father.
Unlike Bastian, Zed gets his ass in the house so he doesn't get busted.
"HEY!! I grew up and you hardly took any pictures!!"
Hmm, how about that?
So, having acquired all of the family traits by teenhood, Tesla rolled for his adult trait and is now a dog person. He rolled one wish for a dog, I let it sit in his wish list for a long ass time while I mulled it over, decided "no", deleted it, and he never wished for a dog again.
His LTW is Jack of All Trades. I'm not optimistic but stranger things have happened. His first job is in the science career, seeing as he already has at least 7 levels in gardening.
"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? You need to move your ass out and get your own place!!"
"What the fuck is your problem?"
"My problem is I have to fucking share a room with fucking Tesla and fucking Alex!! Do you KNOW how fucking annoying and disgusting they are? If it weren't for you I could have Uncle Blaine's apartment. BUT NOOOOOOO! You get it because you're our fucking ancestor or some such bullshit!!"
"Oh I can solve that problem for you, sweetheart."
"I really doubt it."
Don't fuck with your ancestors, Marie.
"You can share a yard with a bunch of braindead assholes, instead."
"Jesus, MOM! I cannot believe your boobs are photobombing my death!!"
Zed: "Heh, photoboobing. Heh."
Pig.
Yeah, Marie's got too much potential to just let go. Plus she's got the most cooking skill of the kids and will likely be first to learn to make ambrosia.
"This party is the shizz, I tell you what."
Zed just can't call it a night.
"BOOMOTHERFUCKER!! Welcome home!!"
"Yeah fuck you."
"Geez, get a sense of humor."
Bastian was not in the market for a sense of humor.
"You literally just got home. What in all the holy hell is wrong with you, Bastian?"
"Virginia, honey...."
"You know what? I'm already sorry I asked."
"That didn't take very long."
"Eh, long enough for me to realize that while the afterlife has it's limitations, it's still a helluva lot better than being stuck in this shithole."
I love Zed, but he's had his time. Back to the yard with you, buddy.
It's nine in the morning, Virginia.
"Yes. Yes it is."
Tesla has the traditional Fox "first day at work".
"Oh look! It's that new guy with the funny hair, Tesla! He's so quirky!"
"BOOOOOOO!!! You're a freak, Tesla! Get off my lawn!!"
"Think of it as me firing you, Tiffany."
"How dare you?!!? I'm reporting you to HR!"
"MUAHAHAHAHAAAA! Nobody likes you, bitch! I'm not even going to get fired!!"
True story.
"Tiffany Wolff, your time of reckoning is upon you. What shall you..."
"Fuck you, I'm outta here."
"Wait, what? What are you....? That's against regulations!! Of all the nerve!!"
Tiffany looked at Grim, then jumped into her grave without so much as a "hi, how are ya'".
Meanwhile, across town....
"I wish for a cool, new hat!"
"Ha HA! That's a stupid wish!"
"What do you expect? He's a stupid idiot."
And that's all who showed up for the caking.
Alex rolled odd for his trait, so in addition to being an easily-impressed, insane, meanie, he's also newly hot-headed.
"I think you mean 'hot-hatted'."
I like you, kid.
"She's pregnant!"
And you're still married!
"Pffft, she asked ME out. And she's pregnant!!"
Idiot. Enjoy your date. At the dump. Where you belong.
"Oh, I'm gonna."
LOL! Playa.
"I'm bored."
"Luckily, I have an idea."
Alex gets right down to business.
"Hey, is there money in that jar?"
"What's going on?"
"*sob* My wife is dead! And now you're dying, too!!"
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???"
"I have a DATE tonight! With a real guy!!"
Not anymore.
"Eh, he's probably married anyway."
"Man this place is nice. Much better than the garage. I wonder if I can live here if Tesla bites it."
"BOOYOURHATISRIDICULOUS!!!"
Alex is determined to make me want to keep him.
"I love my hat, and can't stand YOU!!"
"Pfft, whatever you little prick. I'm coming right back."
Or not.
"Yeah, I thought I had a flower but I guess not."
"Then quit wasting my time and just go."
Sebastian is not enough of a killer for me to keep him around. Tesla does the gardening now, and I'm considering keeping Marie AND Alexander, so we'll need some space.
The family graveyard is getting crowded. Even without accomplishing his LTW, Bastian still scored the big tombstone.
"Bastian died? *snort* That's a bummer."
"You heard me. You're ugly and smell like a fart. No wonder someone offed you before you even grew up."
"Screw you!!"
Grace shows more gumption in death than she ever did in life.
"I am so gonna KICK YOUR ASS!!!"
"I suggest you leave the trash-talking to those who've earned it, CHILD."
"Hmph. I let you win."
Not even Ben's irresistibility can lure people outside the household to come cheer.
Ben rolled odd for his adult trait, so he's now a friendly, insane, heavy sleeper, who is irresistible and also evil. His LTW is to be Leader of the Free World.
"Do you really have to move out, Benny? You're my favorite and I want you to stay!"
"Aw, thanks Mom! I'm sorry but I do need my own place. It's amazing enough that I made it my whole teenhood with no one wishing to kill me. I don't want to push my luck. Plus the simgod is hoping to get some cousins out there, seeing as that Jack guy never did shit in the kid department."
I suspect that the irresistible trait saved Ben's ass. Not only did no one wish to kill him, but even with Sebastian, Blaine, Zed, Marie, and Tesla all in the house, ready and willing to kill each other, no one ever even fought with him, argued with him, nothing. I never had any reason to be concerned about him.
"I will be the best podium polisher ever! I'll shall polish it with the sweat of my minions and it shall glisten with the sparkle of a thousand disco balls!"
No reason at all.
Another addition to the bathroom walls.
"What the hell do you mean, 'get out there and have a kid'?"
"Look, you're the 6th generation. Your kids will be the 7th generation. Once one of your kids kills someone, this fucking game is over and I can get off this hellhole lot."
My ghost simself is quite done. My living simself has yet to meet any of the Foxes, so she might actually die of old age.
"My problem, Vance, is that your party sucks ass. You don't even HAVE a pool!"
Vance made the mistake of picking a fight with Tesla.
"But now I'll give you a real problem, asshole."
"And put out some decent food. I am so fucking sick of autumn salad and waffles!!"
Shocking.
"Now everyone will be spared your shitty parties, Vance."
"*gasp* I just *wheeze* wanted to see *cough* everyone in their bathing suits!"
Creep.
"It's all good, Grim. I hear there's lotsa young folks at the graveyard for me to oogle."
"Let go of my hand Now."
"Dammit Tesla, I had so much ass to kiss at this party and you've totally fucked it up."
"Oh, sorry Ben! I'll make it up to you!"
"Please don't."
"Maryann is here, too, by the way. Don't know if you've seen her."
"So? Why should I care?"
"Dude, everyone knows."
"Knows what?"
"That she cheated on her husband with you."
"How the hell does everyone know that?"
"Uh, are you....?"
"Yes."
"Is it...?"
"Also yes."
"Fuck."
"Shiiiiiiiiiit OWWWWWWW!! I need a ride to the hospital!!"
That's you, man.
"*sigh* Fine. Let's go."
"I never should have slept with your broke ass."
"I am not broke! I'm really fucking rich, I'll have you know. I'll bet my stupid sister has the truck."
"Mmmhmm. Whatever, po'boy."
Thus marks the end of Generation Six, and this chapter. I thought that major fuck up number two would make it but it must be after the baby is born.
Coming up, the beginning of the end.
Tally
Able to roll for a trait: 16 (86)
Every trait locked in: 1 (4)
Teen Sim commits murder: 6 (30)
YA-Elder commits murder: 39 (274)
One household member murders another: 15 (62)
Family Member Achieves their LTW: 0 (7)
Big Gravestone Earned: 2 (8)
Life Stages passed with no kills: Teen 1, Ben - YA 1, Virginia (2 T, 3 YA, 1 A, 1 E)
Total Kills: 40 (304)
Individuals
Elvis: 76
Thomas: 67
Lydia: 53
Jason: 38
Zed: 2 (17)
Sebastian: 11 (16)
Barb: 11
Blaine: 8 (9)
Shane: 6
Tesla: 6
Julia: 4
Jeanette: 3
Alexander: 2
Mary: 1
Max: 1
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