G7, P3: Resurrection

Kyle: "Where the hell are we? What the hell house is this? It's purple!!"

They're baaaaaaaack!

The Foxes have left Riverview, and most of the ghosts of murders past, behind and moved to a new 'hood.

While murder is still the name of this game, I'm going to play it a little differently.

No more ghosts on the lot. They cause way too much lag. So where are they? Non-family members and others sims I don't really care about will go to the town graveyard. Family members and sims I'm attached to will go to....

The family graveyard across the street!

It's a very nice graveyard, with bathrooms, a small kitchen, and some fun things for the ancestors to do. I brought over Barb, Kris, Shane, Thomas, Jason (whom I remembered to grab from the police station at the very last second), Lydia, Zed, Blaine, and Elvis. Sorry to the others but I wasn't going to bring everydamnbody and all their lag.

Let's see, what else.... oh, I'm ready to mix up the traits a little bit, so starting with generation 8, I'll roll from childhood on up (50-50 shot) to see if the sim gets mean-spirited as a trait, as that's the one that seems to make the biggest difference. Otherwise it's straight up random traits. If I start noticing things getting boring, I'll throw hot-headed in there as well.

I'll try a little harder with their LTWs. Not a lot harder mind, just a little.

And while I'll keep track of everyone's individual murder record, no more scoring of any other kind.

So where are we? Just in case the graveyard pictures didn't give it away,

Oh look, it's the Landgraabs!

We're back in the original 'hood, the motherhood, the most stable 'hood (for me), the one with some of the most iconic townies, Sunset Valley! I can't wait to see which ones get stabbed or bashed over the head.

So about the house, I didn't want to move them into an EA pre-built, and I was feeling too lazy to make a house from scratch, so they are in one of my earlier designs. You may recognize it as the house Jason chased Timothy around in, and where Julia and that other blue-haired dude made Jeanette (I think).

I didn't take any interior shots. It's the Friends house. You go in the front door into a small entryway. Go left and it's Chandler and Joey's apartment. Go right and it's Monica and Rachel's. I've never used it for my active family, so we're giving it a trial run. Don't get attached. For reasons that I will explain shortly, I move the Foxes again fairly quickly.

Along with my favorite ghosts, a few other notables made the temporal leap.

Buttmunch is enjoying the new place.

As is the family mascot, earned by Barb way back in the beginning.

"I made it, too!"

Who's this? Meet David, Ben and Crystal's second child. Ben and his family, Crystal, Burt, and David, are the only townies to make the move. Everyone else can breathe a big sigh of relief back in Riverview. Except my simself. You know I put that bitch in SV. Orphans gotta go somewhere.

"So how do you like your new house, living high on the hill with the Altos and Landgraabs?"

"It's okay. I mean, it's nice inside. But we can't do anything with it on the outside. Dad and Aunt Marie really want a hot tub but it seems like we can't put one in."

If you watch Friends, then you know that there's a closet at the end of Monica's hallway that we don't see the contents of until the show is in its twilight years. I made that closet, then put a hidden room marker in it so no one could open the door. Now the house is completely remodel-able on the inside, but I can't do a thing to the outside. The game says it's a "common area" or some such thing. I tried to remove the hidden room marker and couldn't. If I liked the house more, I would try harder. But I don't. So somewhere in the next sim day or so, I move the Landgraabs into another house, bulldoze their lot, and put down my Rainbow House and moved the Foxes next door.

And Molly French will be the first townie to go. Tesla doesn't waste any time. He's been at his new restaurant for 24 minutes.

"Hi, I don't know if you remember me. I'm Tesla Fox. I just moved to Sunset Valley and started work today."

"Of course! It's nice to see you, Tesla. Employees don't usually follow me home, what can I do for you?"

"You could hold still."

"But ..... whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..."

"Oh good, they're here. I look forward to the challenge!"

Fiona: "*SOB* Now I have to raise River AND Sandi all by myself!!"

That night, Alex follows suit.  Claire Ursine, of course.

"Hey Claire! I'm Alex, your new employee? You'd have met me already but you skipped work today."

"Way to set a good example. You're a terrible boss, Claire!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Uh, why aren't you dying?"

She's pregnant.

"Are you sure? She just looks fat to me."

"Fuck off ........... whatever your name is."

"Are you in there, baby?"

"Peek-a-boo!! I can't wait until you're born!!"

He didn't have to wait long.

"They left the door open. Nice."

"Okay, if you had the baby, why are you still fat?"

"Fuck off and get out!!"

"Can I hold her?"

"Hell no you may not!"

"Fine. Be that way."

Jeez, Alex. Don't hit the baby!

"Well Devin, it's been fun but Mommy's gotta go now."

"Nice outfit."

"Why thank you!!"

Devin went to go live with her father, Jared Frio. I'm sure he'll come get her any minute now.

Meanwhile, back at the house,

Kyle: "Yasss!! My spidey sense tells me that fun is coming!!"

"You are NOT the boss of me, Marie! I brought a friend home from school, so I'll do homework when and IF I want to!!"

"I am the adult in this house and I'm telling you, no video games until your homework is finished!"

River: "What's going on? What is Tesla doing?"

Tyler: "Stabbing my mother."

"OH MY GOD!! What do we do? Should I call the police?"

"Nah. She'll be fine."

"I'm still the only one who can make ambrosia!!"

"Wow! My very first flower! Thanks!!"

While out and about in the rain, collecting special seeds, Tesla decides that Ethan Bunch will be the next victim of the Fox Curse.

"You think you're so special? Getting an A in school?"

"Hey, I worked hard for that A!"

Judy: "Of course you did, sweetie!"

"Work hard for this, you little asshwho is at the door??"

"Goddammit!! I hate being interrupted!!"

"HELP!! MURDERER!! CALL THE POLICE!! HELP!!!"

"So who is it??"

Ben, your brother.

Ben: "You know, I didn't need to talk to Jack after all. I'm just gonna go straight home and lock all the doors."

"Ben. Why haven't I killed him, yet?"

He's irresistible.

"He is, the bastard."

Guess who his new boss is?

"I was going home, but suddenly I feel an urgent need to run and hide."

Little Devin is about to be an orphan.

Jared and his new wife, Ayesha, leave Devin to her own devices and run to the elixir shop, where I'm sure they are PERFECTLY SAFE.

Ayesha: "Honey, you said he wouldn't be able to find us here."

"No one ever seems to be in here, it seemed like a good idea."

Tesla: "You literally ran two lots down the road. I watched you go."

"Oh."

"You fired me."

"Whoa, okay, everybody calm down. Uh, the police told me that they were going to bring you in. What...what happened?"

"I beat Ethan Bunch to death."

"And now it's your turn."

"Ayesha??"

"Yeah, no. I'm out."

Poor Jared.

"Oh god this hurts!!"

"*gasp* Tell Connor *wheeze* that I *cough* left a good-looking corpse."

"Who the hell is Connor?"

"Hey, I need a teleport, right quick? Thanks."

"Tesla Fox...whoa!! I didn't know sims could do that, too?"

The things you will learn, new Grimmy.

"I'm a spice runner, again. I don't even get what that means. I never once ran for spices. The kitchen is small enough that walking to the spice cabinet works just fine."

We're trying this one more time. If he can't make it to level 5, I'm abandoning this employment trajectory and trying something else.

Stuart throws more generic kill wishes than any other sim that I can recall. It's like he enjoys the act itself, it's not anything personal against any particular sim.

VJ Alvi made the mistake of accepting Stewie's invitation to come over after school.

"Man, I'm so glad you invited me over, Stewie. My Dad has really been riding my ass about getting a job, getting better grades, and cutting my moha.."

"Good lord, VJ. Just shut up already. Nobody gives a shit."

"Geez, man, get some chill."

"Fine, I'll do homework. Asshole."

I don't think so, man.

"Fuck!!"

"Dead punk at my doorstep!! Heh-heh, that's a great band name!!"

"Eh, my life sucked anyway. Mom bailed years ago, and Dad always loved Miraj more."

"Ugh, emo teens. Not my favorite."

Oddly, neither Rory nor Tyler felt the need to take the bus home that day. Choosing instead to do their homework on the school sidewalk, while their cousin Bert stood around contemplating the space.

"Why are we even here? We're all going to die anyway."

Some sooner than later.

Tired of watching the Foxes slag around town in cabs (the truck glitched ages ago, they were able to drive it around Riverview but it wasn't in anyone's inventory, nor did it appear in parking spaces, it disappeared for good when they moved), I bought them two new cars.

"Hell yeah, this thing is glorious!"

The Margaret Vaguester.

And a cute Volkwagon Beetle! The Beetle isn't that fast but I love it anyway.

"Nice make-up, lady. There's these new-fangled things called 'mirrors'. You may want to try one."

"Well bless your heart, darling. You may want to give one of those mirrors a try for yourself. It looks like a 3 year old did your make up."

"Meh-meh-meh, I'm Nancy Landgraab, I try to pretend that I'm not a gold-digging whore but I forgot to reset my make-up gun!"

"Why you little bastard!!"

Stewie's so charming.

"Yay!! Smart stuff all around me!"

Thanks to Alex, Marie is now completely disposable.

**takes precious deathflower out of her inventory**

She still gets a birthday party, as they tend to be pretty profitable.

Lisa Bunch relentlessly harasses Marie the entire party, picking a fight with her,

and handing her her ass. And Marie does nothing about it. Not one wish. Lydia would not have put up with a fraction of that shit.

"I gotta say, man, this is a pretty nice house. I like it a lot better than our parents' house in Riverview. Plenty of bedrooms, much better layout."

"Thanks, Ben. I gotta go."

"Why? Do you have to work?"

Emma Hatch. No idea why. I don't even think she was at the party.

"Excuse me, I am not as useless as you think!!"

Not a standard kill wish but it's the closest she's ever thrown, and I think it's valid.

"You are such a rude, nasty little bitch. How dare you come to MY party and act this way!"

"Pffft. What are you going to do about it? I already kicked your sorry ass!"

"Don't sweat it, kid. She's not going to do anything. She never does."

"HA-ha!! I knew it!!"

"You know what? Fuck all y'all."

"Did Tesla go through here? I think he's about to do something stu....."

"Nevermind. I'll try to find him on my own."

"You fucking bitch! I'm tweeting about this! All my friends are gonna dox your ugly ass!"

"Sweetie, there's no way you have any friends."

She had a least one. She was sobbing over VJ the entire party. Now you can join him, kid.

"Eh, I'd rather be with VJ anyway."

Not a lot of begging in Sunset Valley.

Uh, Tesla?

"Oh, she's here. Trust me. And there are other people here, too."

Yep, Monika lives here, too. Married to Stiles McGraw.

And there goes that job.

I assume I don't need to explain.

"Zzzzzz tell the police zzzzzzz this asshole did it zzzzzzZ"

"Sorry Monika, gotta jet. Emma's dying downstairs."

"Zzzzzz gonna make pancakes for breakfast zzzzzZ"

"Zzzz zzz zwhut? What's that smell? What the hell's burning? Monika, you smell that? ..... Monika??"

Emma was married to Connor Frio. They shared the house with Monika and Stiles, with Blair sticking around as the fifth wheel.

"Why did Emma get cremated already?"

They stood around forever waiting for Grim. Why?

"You suck!! You couldn't hit rock at the graveyard!!"

"No, love, that'd be you."

Grim had to finish throwing fucking water balloons with Marie first. Tesla was exhausted, and the police had come and gone, so I sent him home.

"Tesla! That's my easel. Why the hell are you using it? You've never painted in your life."

"I do now, bitch. It's my new job, I'll have you know."

"What? WHY???"

No bosses, no getting fired. Self-employment is his only hope for his LTW.

When I went looking for Elias, I discovered that he's not actually a townie. He does work in the culinary career,

Seems awfully early for the game to be using NPCs in the big careers, but then the Foxes could just be that good. This is not a problem. We have a workaround.

"Hi, I'd like to order a pizza, extra cheese."

PAR-TAY!!!

"BOOOOO! You suck, Tesla!!! I'm so happy I fired your ass!!"

And yet you still came to the party.

"Hey Elias, come here."

"Uh..."

"What do you and a play have a in common?"

"Um, I don't know. What?"

"You both need a run through."

"Heh-heh. Good one, Dad."

"I don't get it."

"How about now?"

*deathderp*

"I don't suppose this guy is just passed out?"

"Hi Ben! Glad you could make it."

"Damn it, Tesla! I brought the kids to this party!"

Wow Bert. You ... grew up well.

"Ha HAAAAA!! Your kid is pink, Tesla!! You sure he's yours?"

Grim is a fine addition to any party.

We'll end it here. Find out if Rory rolls a family trait, or is he doomed, next chapter.