G3, P2: Zed Does Himself Proud

"Say cheese!"

"No! No cheese! It's not sanitary."

Carissa: "He's cute but I don't know if I want to see him again."

*4 days later*

You're seeing him again, Carissa.

So .......... to Carissa or just anybody?

"I don't care."

Well then we'll give Carissa a try and see what happens.

Jason leaves Zed's party to go fetch Thomas, and hopefully Carissa.

"Oh, hi! You're my baby daddy."

"I'm hoping to be a lot more."

LOL! Sorry Mark.

I get Jason started on romancing Carissa. We're on a tight schedule because her thought bubbles indicate a severe need to eat, sleep, and pee. Stupid NPCs. It's around 9pm and I'd really like to get her moved in asap. So of course the camera jerks me away to this.....

"Dammit. Who is it this time? Zed?"

It's no one. You're dying of old age. Nice timing, Barb. I'm kind of in the middle of something, here.

"Ha!! Good."

"Look at you, all nice and silver!! You'll look so pretty in the sea of orange and purple at the graveyard."

This is taking too long, hang on guys.

"Hey Carissa, now that you and Mark are broken up, do you think maybe I could spend the night?"

"Sure! What could possibly happen?"

Thank fuck. Okay, Jason, go pay attention to your son while Carissa gets some of her shit together. I'll be back in a few minutes.

I was expecting more of a show from Barb, but she didn't even talk to Grim. He disappeared and she went right into her urn. Boring. I put her in Zed's inventory, checked on Julia, and went back to Carissa's house.

"Man, I am so exhausted, but I gotta eat first."

I knew there would be no way that Jason could get up to "extremely irresistable" while she was so in the red. So he farted around with Thomas while she had hot dogs.

Once again, I won't gain or lose any points from Thomas' traits. He rolled one odd, one even, so he's an evil genius.

Finally Carissa finished her hot dog, then she had to use the bathroom. I'm really hoping we can do this without Jason having to spend the night. I'm afraid he's going to wish to kill her before he can get his marriage wish.

He manages to propose...

and thankfully she accepts. Yes, he's getting really tired, now.

They have an ultra-romantic bathroom wedding, and both Carissa and Thomas (who fell asleep screaming on the floor) are moved in.

Here's the new girl, the first sim with no family traits to live in the house. LOL at her lifetime wish. You know, if she can hang in there, depending on Zed's mood she may actually get that wish.

I have no idea why she has the "witnessed betrayal" moodlet. I'm glad they got married because otherwise she'd be in a really peachy mood.

Not 6 hours after they get home Jason rolls a wish to kill some blue-haired dude whose name is a mystery because I lost the screen shot of the wish. But I do have this....

As soon as Jason stabs/bashes blue hair, the sister understandably hates him, leading to him wishing to kill her as well. You can see both locked in wishes.

"What a beautiful morning! I love being married!"

This has nothing to do with you being married.

"You know nothing."

"Crying, huh? Sad."

"Here's something to cry about, you big baby."

"Two at once! Oh MY!"

Jason worked so fast that Grim didn't show until he'd killed them both.

"zzzzzzzzz Where is my new husband? zzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Carissa may be more intuitive than I initially gave her credit for.

Barb with Max at their final resting place in the Riverview Graveyard. Barb got the big tombstone!

"What's up, y'all?"

Cutie!

"OH MY GOD!! I have a little brother!!"

Julia is less impressed.

"I HAVE TWO KIDS!! I NEED TO QUIT MY JOB!!"

Jason overreacts.

"Hi! This is Jason Fox ....... yes, I'm Barb's son .......... wait, she died? When? .............. huh, oh well, anyway, I'm a father now, so I quit........... yup ............. okay ............. yeah fuck you, too. Bye!"

So Jason is no longer working at the one job that won't fire him for murdering too many people.

He'll be thrilled that there's another one on the way. I figure I might as well get more kids out of Carissa before someone offs her.

 Every time I send someone to the dive bar.

And there's nobody there.

"Excuse me, yes there is."

*sigh* Fine. Kill the bartender.

"Another slow night. I am never going to make enough money for that condo in the Desert Palms retirement community."

"*derp* Or I just should have settled for the condo in Twinbrook."

"Ah well. Easy come, easy go, right?"

"You were going to die in a few days anyway."

"Oh."

"You betta watch yohsef, Tommy. Dees are my dollies, you bweak one and I donna shove it in yo eye."

"You not nice, sissy."

"And don't chu fohget it!!"

"I must say, young lady, that all that extra weight looks amazing on you!"

Kris actually tries to get himself killed.

"I love your towel."

Oh for crying out loud.

Julia has a little, family party for her birthday. She rolled even for her trait, so she is an insane, evil schmoozer. Sounds destined for a career in politics.

During which her step-mother decides to go into labor.

She has little Shane, who rolled even for his traits so he is an absent-minded loner, that you'll see eventually.

Way back when he was still in high school, before his death, Zed rolled a wish to kiss my simself's son, Alfred. I never got around to it, Zed died, Jason kept me busy, then Zed grew up and Alfred was still a teenager. Alfred finally grew up, so Zed paid him a visit.

"He's cute, right?"

Sure. Adorable.

And fairly easy.

"Have you ever done this before?"

"No, but I've read all about it on the internet!"

Ten seconds later...

"How was it?"

Not that good, I'm guessing.

But first,

"I guess I shouldn't have made a snow angel, at night, in nothing but a towel."

"Noooo, Dad!! Why did you have to die??"

"I didn't think you cared that much."

"Now who's going to take care of the kids and teach them their skills??"

Back to our regular programming.

"I may not have had a problem with you being evil before we woohooed, but I've since slept on it and NOW I have a problem with it!"

"Let's see, is there anything I can do about that? Why yes, there is ONE thing!"

"No more woohoo for you, Alfred! Ever!"

"I should have listened to my mother!"

Let this be a lesson to you, kids.

"What's going on? Who are you people? Why is Al on the floor?"

"Who's this?"

Henry, Alfred's roommate.

"Really?"

LOL!

"This is the perfect job for me. I can sense it."

He wished to join the political career, so he's now a podium polisher.

Awesome.

Me: "Jason works for me, now? Great. I better make sure my will and life insurance are up to date."

"Blue hair is stupid."

"You're stupid."

You know, Zed, I'm only trying to find you another boyfriend, here. So you don't end up old and alone have someone to woohoo with, maybe have a baby with before you die your final death.

"Take THAT!!"

Sure, rip holes in her pants. That'll show her.

"You are SUCH an asshole!"

"Why isn't she dying?"

Give it a minute.

"HA!! You're dust in the wind, you blue haired freak!!"

"Hi, You're going to have to come with me."

"Any hot guys locked up tonight?"

"Sir, I'd really appreciate it you'd exercise your right to remain silent."

Zed's going to have to wait on this one.

*later*

"I think Roy needs a late night visit."

"Ow! Dammit! I knew this bay window was going to kill me eventually."

Misti is Roy's daughter.

Luckily she came outside to mourn.

"You killed my father!!"

"Guess what, Misti?"

"I killed your mother, too!"

Her mother was the blue-haired woman Zed murdered in the bar.

"YES!! I wiped out an entire family!!"

Marilyn: "SOB!! Not everyone!"

Poor Marilyn. I gave her some hair and moved her in with one of her grandparents.

"Didn't we just do this?"

"Do you still want me to remain silent?"

"I'll bet everyone forgot all about me."

Sorry, Shane. You are cute.

Coming up next chapter, Jason goes for broke.

In the meantime, have a picture of Zed passed out in the snow after getting out of jail for the second time in less than 24 hours.