Sunday, March 5, 2017

G3, P1: The Riverview Police Are Really, Really Stupid.

"What in the world is that noise?"

LOL! Turns out that when you use Master Controller to add a sim to your household, it instantly poofs them to your lot.

Julia Fox is the first baby of Generation Three, born to Jason and his 5 minute-stand, Brook. Brook is married with several other children, so we left her alone and Jason brought Julia home to live with him.

Since I don't get the chance to have her traits locked in or ready to roll, I won't take or lose points for them. I did roll for her family traits. She rolled one odd and one even, so she remains the way she was born, an insane genius.

Becoming a father did absolutely nothing for Jason's congenial personality.

Also a teenager that he knew from school. She's the one who asked him out on a date, then ran off because he freaked her out. Apparently he has not let that little incident go.

"Hi! I'm Jason. Cheyenne and I know each other from school, although I graduated last year. Is she home? I was hoping we could catch up."

"She's still at school, but she'll be home in an hour or so if you'd like to wait."

"I would, Mrs.?"

"Oh just call me Julianne."

"Thank you, Julianne! I appreciate you letting me wait."

"Hey Cheyenne."

"Oh shit. I thought he graduated and moved away or something?"

"Wanna go out on a ............ date?"

"Um, no. Thanks."

"Fuck you, you little bitch! Nobody runs out on me. NOBODY!!"


"Fuck yeah I did!!"

"You should have taught the little whore better manners, JULIANNE."

"Um, I wasn't finished with first one. Can we have a little respect for the process, please?"

Sorry Grim. A homicidal maniac's got to do what a homicidal maniac's got to do.

And he got fired again. Sim employers are so picky.

I did learn something new.

"This is a private residence. I can't get in!"

"Hello?? This door appears to be locked! I can't make an arrest through a locked door!"

If a sim is killed inside of a private residence, the police can't get in to make an arrest.

"Man, now I have to get a warrant. And by the time I get back, the suspect will be long gone."

And the house empty, seeing as Jason just emptied it out.

Whatcha' doin'?

"Waiting for my boss, sorry, my FORMER boss to get out of work so I can kill the son of a bitch."

*sigh* Guess who his boss is?

Of course it's Max. Max went a got a job at the Bistro after I moved him out.

Jason rolled this right after he got fired.

He followed Max home after he got out of work.

"Jason? You came to visit me at my house? COOL!!"

Max was so excited to see his brother.

"YES!! This is a great day!!"

It broke my stone cold heart a tiny little bit.

Jason didn't give one shit.

"You FIRED me."

"Dude, I had to! Corporate said you weren't a good fit for the restau..WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"So long, you fucker!"

"But, I'm still happy to see you!!"

Oh Max.

"I'm coming, Dad!! Hang on, I'm coming!!!"

Too late, Blue. You missed it.


I moved the poor little guy into another household. Hopefully someone Jason won't meet.

Where are you going? I sent you to bed!

"Something's going on outside! I'm checking it out."

"Whoa! What is it?"

Well would you look at that?

Sure. Take the teenager when there's a perfectly "get-pregnant-able" adult male in the house. Pffffft. Later Zed. Ask for lube.

Not very much later at all.

"Heh-heh. So. What I've heard about what aliens do to the sims they kidnap, is it true? Tell me it's true!"

"Thanks, Mom."

"LOL! Go to bed, you little delinquent."

"You killed me, you evil witch!!"

"Oh for fuck's sake, seriously? Look kid, I would have, believe me, but your brother beat me to it, remember? Go harass the shit out of him."


"zzzzzzzz Three in one day zzzzzzzzzz I'll be in all the papers tomorrow zzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Wrong brother, Peter, you idiot.

"That's right. I got some teal-green eyes."

I approve, Julia.

"I will NOT tolerate smart asses in this house!!"

*sigh* Top shelf parenting, Barb.

"You made honor roll, I hear."

"Oh, that. Yeah. My teachers say I test really we.."


"You think you're so smart? Who's smart now?"

"OW!! This hurts, you BITCH!!"

"No flower?"

"No, goddamnit."

"Odd, I thought you were favored."

"So did I."

"Hey! This door is locked!!"

Bye, moron.

"Ahhh. So satisfying. This never gets old."

Uh-huh. Grab the urn and your shoes, you're going out.

"What? Why?"

She got the opportunity quite awhile ago. I've held on to it all this time.

* a few hours later *

 "Hello, MOTHER."

"*sigh* Fuck."

 "Ugh! This black fish is totally gross!"

Just shut up and get cooking.

"I'm starving! I want to eat NOW!"

You shut up and hang in there.

 "Mmmmmm, what is this? It's really good!"


"Nice to be back."

You were gone less than 6 hours.

"My life stage started over, by the way."

Yeah, I won't notice that for another couple of days, when I finally realize that not only should your birthday have come and gone, but that you are way too young to have been a teenager as long as you have been.

"That's a bummer. No party tomorrow, then?"


"Why do I have to teach this little shit how to shit in a toilet?"

Her dad is busy.

"Doing what? He's unemployed!"

Not anymore, he'll be working with you at the criminal warehouse, just like he wished for.


Plus he's kind of an asshole.

"Give that back, you jerk!!"

"Heh-heh. It tastes even better when you swipe it from your own kid."

Zed gets his birthday party a few days late on the festival grounds.

"*yawn* Do I have to be here?"

Barb, just, shut the fuck up already. Damn.

"I don't look any different. Like, at all. Am I still messed up from my dumbfuck mother killing me?"

No, you grew up, I swear.  Because Zed killed as a teenager, I gave him the last remaining family trait. So now he's evil, in addition to being insane, perceptive, hot-headed, and mean-spirited. Two sims with all the family traits, this should be a profitable generation.

His lifetime wish is Renaissance Sim. He wants to master three skills. I'm thinking cooking, logic, and gardening.

"What is all that noise downstairs?"

Your mother accomplished her lifetime wish to be a Master Thief and wished to retire. She thought your birthday party was the perfect time to do it.

"Cheer, you asshole!"

"Bite me."

"Hey Daddy, guess what?"

"What, baby?"

*whispers* "I gots a wittle haff brover!!"

"What the fuck now???"

Coming up next chapter.....

"NO! I want to know NOW!"

.... we'll meet the latest little sociopath.

"You bitch."

Bye, Jason.

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