Friday, March 24, 2017

G4, P5: The End Of An Era

Hey! Look what's growing in the garden, the Buttmunch Plant, ass first!

"Uch oo!! Et e ou oh ere!!"

We have gotten other gnomes but I sell them all. They start sticking together in a group and not only become less visually interesting and fun, but can become annoying. So we'll stick with Buttmunch the Original Fox Family Gnome.

Shane starts his serial killer crime novel.

The pool hall is right next to the criminal warehouse. I imagine that's why Jason threw this while working.

Do they know that you're leaving?

"I'm going next door. Think of it as an extended cigarette break."

I made him wait a bit so he could kill someone other than the bartender.

"Who's this jockstrap?"

Chet (CHET?? Really?): "Man, this place is dead, tonight."

"What the hell are you wearing? This ain't the gym, sweetheart."

"I ain't your sweetheart! I suggest you back off, old man!"

"Ha! I don't know why you peacocks even move into this town."

"You've done it now! CHET ANGRY!!"

So long, Chet.

"MUHAHAHAHAHAAA!  I still want the bartender!"

*sigh* Yup, he's getting arrested.

"Man! The vacuum cleaner just died this afternoon."

"As will you, my dear. As will you!"

"*choke* At least *gag* I'll make a *wheeze* good-looking corpse!"

"Yeah you will. Bye!"

"Jason! Again?? Alright, this is it, right? You're done. You're going to jail."

"Oh I'm sure I'm going to jail...."

"....but I'm hardly DONE!"

Grim: "Tell it to your cell mate."

"Mr. Fox, you have the right to.."

"I know, you idiot!"

"Then please do so, sir."

No idea why.

"What's that weird sound?"

Your doom.

"Time to go, Gus."

Gus: "Be sure and tell them ... it was only a bloody game."

Alright Shane, get outta there!

"The POWER!! I've never felt so al.."


"O-KAY!! GOD!!"

The stupid idiot made it home without getting arrested.

"Hello, Mathew."

All the sims Jason wished to kill are NPC role sims. Mathew is a mixologist and I think it's just lucky that I found him at the arcade. Shane and Nathan must not have 24 hour roles as neither are in town at the moment.

"That Bad Cheerleader you served me was, at best, only mildly inappropriate."

"For how you tip? You got exactly what you deserve."

"Here's a good tip, Mathew. Be wary of old men with fireplace pokers up their assholes!"

That is a good tip.

"The streets need a good cleaning anyway, you worthless hobos."

Go home, Jay!  God, three more NPCs. He's definitely going to get arrested at least once more.

"Jason Fox!!!!"

"Later, Grimmy!!"

"I'm tired of this, Jason! You're going to pay!"

"Now where?"

The nectary where Gloria works.

Before he even gets there.


Jess is the maid who drew the short straw and has to work the Fox house today.

"I'm not going to survive this shift, am I?"

Work fast.

"This is Riverview, not France. You don't belong here!"

"But...I just work here!"

"Not anymore."

Jay, quick! Daniel's outside!

"So, you work at the sports bar."

"Um, yes sir. We're about to open, I just heard a commotion from the nectary so I'm going to investigate."

"No, Daniel. There will be no investigating."

"What? I'm.... I'm sorry, I'll go. I won't tell anyone I saw you!"

"No, you won't."

"So. Why aren't you dying?"

Dammit, he's glitched. I'll reset him. Go home before you get arrested!

You have go to INSIDE, Jason!

"Can't. That cab is after me."


"Mr. Fox."


From jail.  *sigh* I guess it's just as well that he got arrested. There's a party for, I can't even remember why.

"He looks nothing like me."

"He's got your hair color! Shane is ginger!"

"Your other brother has black hair."


"I keep hearing about my sweet little girl getting into fights. I won't have that! You need to keep that surly, aggressive teenager away from my baby!"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Lea. Lydia's not a baby, she can take care of herself."

"I am not happy!"

"Why the hell am I stuck talking to you idiots? I didn't sleep with any of you! I'm getting a drink!"

"You don't have to worry about me, Lea. Dad and I got it all under control."

"I've seen how your father handles things, Lydia."

"Then you know I'm serious."

"You may look like me, but you really take after your dad, don't you."

"I feel like I shouldn't be answering that, on some kinda legal grounds."

"It's better if you don't."

Nobody had a birthday. Must be another fundraiser or something.

That night,

"What the fuck? Did one of those pigs shoot me in the back?"

You just got the bill, Jay.

"No more fun?"

It's over. Time for Dexter to be passed down to your grandchildren.

"Excellent. Your time has finally come, Jason! No flowers to save you now."

"Eh. I really need a nap, anyway."

"Me, too. I wish you'd taken Thomas with you."

Well done, Jason. Forty lifetime kills, not counting Daniel but counting the second time he offed Miriam. I love him so much that I left his grave outside the police station so he can continue to haunt the popo.

Life goes on at the Fox den, rather quickly in fact.

Got fired, did we?

"No one told me that I can't accept tips!"

"Also, I hate my boss."

Beatrice won't be off work for several more hours, so I sent Julia to the spa to put her in a better mood.

"Guess what Beautiful? I'm an expert at cooking, gardening, and playing chess! Just imagine what else I'm an expert at."

You're paying her to kiss you, Tom, you don't need a line.

He did accomplish his LTW.

"I'm feeling an overpowering sense of doom."

Hey Beatrice.

"You fired me!"

"You stole money from the donation account!"

"I work hard! I deserve a tip!"

"Politicians don't get tips!"

"Well here's tip for you, Beatrice."

"Keep Foxes off your porch."

"Also, standing right on the edge of the stairs was probably a bad idea."

"Curse this bloody town!!"

And, as seems to be the usual in this game, there's a party going on while the murder is going down.

Lydia rolled odd for her trait and is now evil, as well as a mean-spirited, neurotic slob.

If anyone ever wondered what Tom would look like with his father's hair, now you know. I changed it back.

"Finish it up, you assholes! You're blocking the door!"

"Screw you, Elvis! I am NOT wound more tightly than a nun's asshole!"

Purple coat: "So... is this like a sport? Can we place bets?"

It's not unusual for me to find the kids with rock bottom energy and hygiene, so they definitely fight when I'm not watching.

"Guess what, Kris? I made my lifetime wish!"

"Way to go, man! I knew you could do it!"

"Can I get a simbot?"


Look! They CAN use it as directed!

"Julia told me. I had no idea."

Jack has his birthday the next morning. He rolled even for his trait, so he's now an outdoors-loving loner, who has a natural talent for cooking.

This is becoming a fairly common sight.

Ha HAAAAAAA!!! Old woman kicks Thomas' ass!!

At her own peril.

"Whatcha' gonna do, wimpy?"

"Put a hole right through you, to start with."

"Hey! If you could zap me home, that'd be great!"

It cracks me up that sims talk to the teleportation device.

Meanwhile, at home...

And she wants to beat the snot out of Elvis as well.

"Your father is dead, Jeanette. I killed him."

"I knew it."

"This is from Dad."

"Dammit!! That blue-haired bastard was NOT worth it!!"

So much love.

"Screw it, Grim. I'm done raising snot-nosed brats."

With three great potential up-and-comers, I finally let Julia go.

"I have never known such pain and misery!!"

And there goes Jack's childhood.

"It's a battle, and I'm not in it!"

Holy shit! Way to go, Elvis! I honestly thought the little kids didn't have a chance.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"You've been served, bitch."

"Why do you always invite me to these things?"

I enjoy watching you suffer.

"I wish to inject our family with some desperately needed class."

Good luck with that, Elvis.

Coming up, we'll how well Elvis grows up, and the family loses at least one more member.

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