Wednesday, March 15, 2017

G3, P6: Dexter Is Glitchy

"Stop talking to Robert at school, Tom!! He's my friend, not yours!"

"I'll talk to whoever I want, you crazy bitch!"


"At least I don't have a 70 year old grandmother's hair."

"You're not my real sister, anyway!!"

Damn, impaled with a hammer!

Woecakes all around.

"Uh, didn't we just do this?"

"Please Grim, you can't let my stupid brother kill me!"

"Do you have a black flower for me?"


"Too bad. Nocandosies!! Don't worry though, vengeance will be had."

"Kill MY neice, will you??"

"What the hell, man? I'm peeing here!"

Everyone: "We can't get in that bathroom to mourn, it's way too small!"

"Damn, she's hot!"

"Damn, he's hot!"

"How come you got a flower and your sister didn't?"

"Dunno. Probably because I'm better than her."


Okay, that's not entirely true.

Now that's how you start off a chapter!

Hi! Come on in. Julia kicked things off by wishing to stop being friends with Thomas. He handled it as I imagined he would. He did wish to insult her but he rolled the wish right in the midst of insulting her. I didn't pause fast enough, thus there is no screencap of his kill wish, but I promise he did roll it.

Zed decided to keep it going.

And poor April. Being that she is the only one with no family traits, she is stuck with all the moodlets from watching both her cousins be murdered by her own family, including her father. She plummets into the red, where she will stay for most of her remaining childhood.

As for Julia,

"Why can't I get a flower? Why do I always have to become a ghost?"

Only one person had the science building opportunity and you died first.

Back at home, Julia comes back to life in a flash of light.

"Oh thank god!! And I'm a brand new teen again!"

Not for long.

Trait-wise, Julia and Thomas, particularly Thomas as he now has to get a family trait as a YA, are my best bets as adults, so I'm keeping them around. I don't have high hopes for the rest of them. Unless there's a miracle and April gets "mean-spirited" for a teen trait, she's doomed.

I can't believe this took so long.

"It's long overdue. He won't leave the sprinkler alone and stay the hell out of my garden."

"I'm so over you, motherfucker!"

"What the fuck, Zed? *cough* Stop suffocating me!!"

Please, like I'm going to let Jason die now. He could have a dozen or more murders left in him.


He came back a lot skinnier. Dying must do a number on adults.

So in the midst of all this chaos, I get this notification.

Oh come on, April! You're not a toddler! Talk to someone your damn self!

I sent Grace to take care of it.

"Come on, April! Let's play tag!"

"Really? Okay!!"

With all of generation three still teens or kids, I cannot have someone taken by social worker, now. I kept a very close eye on April's needs until her teen birthday.

That night, Shane comes from behind with a wish to kill Zed, which, of course, I either didn't capture, or I lost it. *sigh*

"Kill my dad, will you?"

"You killed my father."

"Yeah, so?"

"Prepare to die!!"

"Oh come on! Not that tired old quote!"

"I cannot believe you killed me, you little shit!"

"I know. I'm so innocent looking."

"Fine. Whatever. I hate all of these people."

"This is one of my favorite households."

Zed joins the front yard grave site. If someone gets the opportunity, I'll bring him back. But with three promising teens, I'm being stingy with the death flowers. So long, Zed! Hopefully we'll see you soon, but if not, you earned me a lot of points! Cheers!

"You're an AWFUL person! I want my Dad back!!"

Poor April. She's miserable all the time. She's got a D in school because even though she goes every day, her bar slowly goes lower and lower because she's so unhappy. And she never does homework. The moodlets keep her in the red, even when all her need bars are green. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get to roll for her trait, which does not bode well for her.

Sads for April, but life goes on in the Fox household, and that means BIRTHDAYS!!

"This is SO boring! I want a party at the dance club!"

Nobody cares what you think, Grace.

Julia rolled even for her trait, so she is now over-emotional as well as hot-headed, evil, insane, and a schmoozer. Her LTW is to be Leader of the Free World, naturally.

I'm keeping her for the time being. I think Thomas is going to work out the best, trait-wise, although Shane is guaranteed a family trait as well.  No one will have all four traits this time, so we'll see what else we get.

You know, Miriam, if all you're going to do is glitch up my game, I'll change your unlucky trait in MC and let Jason have at it.

"Why Dad? I know my way around a fireplace poker."


Oh dear. I guess that what you do when you live with a bunch of homicidal maniacs, you take it out on your dollies.

"What the fuck? I didn't even TRY to kill anybody this time!"

They know that. This is just a garden-variety, criminal career arrest.


Buttmunch: "I like this house. Music and a pool!"

Also an offspring of my simself. He looks just like Alfred. Maybe that's why Thomas found him so offensive?

"Hey Leo, which sexual position produces the ugliest children?"

"I don't know, which one?"

"I don't know, either. Let's ask your mother!"

"Uhhhh, is this one of them things they refused to teach us in Sex Ed?"

"Yes!! I did it! I killed him before curfew!!"

"Why aren't you dying?"

"*sigh* I don't know. Life has it in for me. I can't even die right."

Oh fuck me and my goth, emo offspring.

"Huh. Let's try the knife."

"*sigh* Sure. Why not? It's not like I ever use it anyway."

"What the hell??"

"*sigh* I guess I'll take my useless soul home, then."

Okay, I don't know what causes this glitch, but it's really annoying. Thomas followed Leo home.

"Look, you little punk, I'm sorry that I don't die to your satisfaction, alright? But that doesn't mean I'm letting you in my house. GO AWAY!!!"

That's cool. Thomas doesn't need an invite.

"I'm getting really tired of this. You better fucking die this time."

At least he's not getting wet.

"*deep inhale* Ahhhhh, burnt flesh. My favorite."

"Dad, what are you doing here? I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

"Relax kid, somebody's got to keep the popo off your back."

Jason was already in town, at the gym, club, who knows, so I sent him over to keep the curfew police from busting Thomas.

"Thanks, Grim! At least at the graveyard I can get away from my mother."

"Um, oh dear."

The next day is Grace's birthday.

The girl on the right, with the pigtails, is Madison, the toddler I fostered out to my simself because Jason killed her entire family. Shane wants to kiss her but, so far, she'll have nothing to do with him.

Grace rolled even for her trait, so she's insane, adventurous, eccentric, and perceptive. In any game but this one she'd be a hoot to play.

"I'd like to get a part-time job."

Honey, I not only recommend a job, but if I were you I'd stay away from home as much as possible.

"Look, Julia, I know we've been best friends since, like, 4th grade, and I know that you've never killed anyone, but your family's stink is so strong that I still don't want to hang out with you."

So Robert broke off the outing and Julia followed him home. Robert is Timothy's little brother.

"You BITCH!! I love that computer!! Go back to your grave!!"

Totally unrelated........

Jason takes after Barb in more ways than one.

"You think you're smarter than me?"

"Asshole, Buttmunch is smarter than you."

"Hey, Dad!!"

Buttmunch: "I do haz the smarts."

" god!!"

"You like that, baby?"

Oh JFC, Jason!!

"Another one? You must have a whole bouquet up there!"

Death number two for Thomas. You better be worth it, kid.

"You love me!"

I do, but if you weren't my new gardener AND ensured a family trait, you'd be pushing up daisies in the front yard.

"Can you guys shut it off? You're turning the pages pink!!"

"I could turn you red."


Father Of The Year.

I feel like April just grew up. I know it's necessary but I'm used to longer baby gaps.

Damn! That is a LOT of ass.

That's better. Cross your fingers that April gets a family trait. She's still got a D or C in school, so no rolling.

No such luck. She was given the "cat person" trait. Yeah, that'll save your ass.

LOL! This kitchen is such a black hole of routing failure when it comes to cake. Too bad, motherfuckers!! More cake leftovers for our fridge! Eat some garlic bread.

Man, you all really hate the blue-haired peeps. No clue who Stella is or what she did.  I have hope for you, Julia!

"Move it, Ron! Someone's at the door!"

"I can't, Stella. I really feel that I need to stay right here. Your life depends on it!"

"Oh quit being so dramatic!"

Yeah, so Stella lives in a trailer that has got to be a routing nightmare to actually live in. Ron had her trapped behind a bed. He refused to move until I had Julia call him over from the kitchen. I canceled the action as soon as he cleared the bed.

"Wow. You may have the stupidest hair style I've ever seen."

"I'm sure EVERYONE is tired of looking at it."

"Oh my god, you killed me!! And why can't I get this braindead expression off my face??"

"Okay, I know that you like it over in this corner, but it really is time to go."

"Don't wanna."

She eventually whooshed without talking to Grim.

She is never going to get her LTW.

Julia handled it well. Yup, that's my simself.

Meanwhile, at the same time....

"Dammit!! Who didn't turn the faucets off??"

Are you SURE it was April?

"Bitch isn't even my kid. Why does she live here, again?"

She lasted less than one day.

"Plus, LOOK at her. Cooking in her underwear! Gross!!"

"Time to go see your dad, ......... April."

While we wait for Grim, let's go to the sports stadium.

"OMG, girl!! You're pregnant???"

"Don't stand there and act like you have no idea why I'm here."

"Damn it. Again??"

"You know what, Julia? I don't like your attitude."

"The fuck are you going to do about it?"

"I'm turning you in."

"Excuse me, officer?"

"And the she was all 'NYEH NYEH', and I was all "BPPPPPPT!'"

"Uh ..... ma'am? Where'd you go?"

I reset the dumb bitch.

After the first attempt, I didn't even show up as an option for the second. HATE this glitch. I sent Julia to my house.

I guess Julia was afraid that I might change my mind.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Julia! Can't you see that I'm feeding the damn baby??"

"Great. Now I have to put the baby down."

Please take note of the fact that Stella's family came from across the street to participate.

"Why is this murderer still running free?"

Ron: "Ding dong the bitch is dead!!"

"Why must you make me suffer so??"

"Dammit, the last thing I'm ever going to hear!"

Let's check back at the house.

"She actually thought she could beg her way out of it."

Not a chance.

Oh hi, Pippin! Are you coming to beg for my life?

"Hell no. You're a terrible mother. You never feed me."

"I'm glad to be out of here. This game sucks."

"Oh you are fucking KIDDING me??"

"Wait, isn't that the sim who was supposedly murdered? Guess I'm not making an arrest after all!"

This is it for generation three! Coming up next chapter, the first baby of generation four is born, and the family moves out of the shack.

Tally (game totals in parenthesis)

Roll for a trait: 12 (37)

Locked in trait: 1 [April] (2)

1 LTW [Barb] was achieved (3)

1 teen (2) and 1 elder life stage passed with no kills [Julia and Kris] 2 YA and 1 A from prev. tally

Kill totals: 

Teens made 3 kills (7), Adults made 36 (47), of those, 9 (18) were household members.


Jason: 21 (24)

Zed: 12 (14)

Barb: 1 (11)

Thomas: 2

Julia: 2

Shane: 1

Mary: 1

Max: 1

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