Friday, March 10, 2017

G3, P4: We All Saw It Coming

"I'm not sure I want to be here."

If you're lucky, Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid will come rescue you.

Let's see, last chapter Elissa refused to die after Jason stabbed her, infuriating him so much that, after he got out of jail for attempted murder, he went on a ten-sim killing spree, which would have been eleven except Rusty was nowhere to be found.

Little Grace was born while her father was off trying to make swiss cheese out of Elissa. She is now a cute toddler with her mother's hair and her father's eyes.

"Where is my dad?"

"Hey baby, you can come wipe my counter!"


Another day, another whim.

Robert: "I know I invited you over after school, Julia, but you're really creeping me out."

"I take it you've met my dad?"

Robert is Timothy's little brother.

"I got laid!!"

Nora: "It wasn't me! EW!!"


"Damn, that was my longest, loudest one yet!!"

"Ugh, Thomas!! Gross!!"

Everybody's flirting!

"Hey Tom, your girlfriend wouldn't happen to have a sister named Elissa, would she?"

"She's not my girlfriend. And no, not that I know of."

"How about a brother named Timothy?"

"I don't think so, Dad."

"Why does everyone in this town have blue hair?"

"Dad, I'm just tryin' to eat."

"Better than a bidet, amirite Zed?"

"Shut up, asshole."

They completely hate each other and I cannot believe one hasn't wished to kill the other, yet.

Julia and Shane's dual birthday party is about to start, great timing, Zed!

Sorry, Jay. Zed got dibs.

Uh oh, he's got his little sister with him.

"Oh ye of little faith."

"See? Totally missed her!"

"Sigh. I've never even been to first base."

"Put me down, Phiwup!!"

"Yay! Now I have fun!!"

I feel better that Madison is in a great mood and not at all bothered by her brother's untimely and horrific demise.

"I really resent you forcing me to call social services to come and get this baby."

"My brother and I are doing this town a favor. We're giving the gene pool a good cleaning, so maybe we can actually go more than 2 generations without anyone dating their second cousin."

You can definitely see the effects on the town population.

I do have immigration on, with the push level set to 10, but it never kicks in after the first generation in any of my other games. Eliza here is at least the 4th or 5th immigrant to move in since Jason grew up. And that's not all Story Progression is doing to try to keep up.

I don't know if this is a different Wil, or if he cheated on his wife and impregnated Kelsey. Maybe the game is going for open marriages as well as multiple births. Twins are unusual, triplets almost unheard of, but these three are the latest in a string of multiples since Jason's spree. At least two sets of twins were born within a day or two of these guys. I'm finding it pretty funny.

When you get out of jail, Zed.

"What is going on over there?"

"This old dude is trying to get himself, and Mom, killed."

"This is an amazing party, Carissa! You make the best cake! You're so pretty!"

"Aw, thanks!"

"What the fuck? What are these hearts in my face?"

You started out this chapter sending the maid a flirty text!

"Yeah but she's smoking hot! Look at this saggy, old motherfucker!"


Both Julia and Shane rolled odd for their traits. Julia is now an evil, insane schmoozer who is newly hot-headed, and Shane is an absent-minded loner who is now insane. Julia, in particular, is looking good! If she kills as a teen, she's guaranteed to stay.

You are in JAIL.  What on earth can these people even be doing to you!

"They are judging me! I know it!"

"The fuck is that??"

The stork stopped by.

"It's green."


"I have not nailed anybody green!"

She's not yours, she's Zed's.

"Where is the fucker?"



Put your niece to bed.

So, Irene and Albert.....

"They are that sniveling Philip's parents."

I really should have included bonus points for wiping out an entire household.

"It won't be an entire household. I can't kill the baby. Or can I???"

No, Zed.

"Ah well."

"Oh Albert, our son was murdered and the man the police arrested for it is outside on our porch messing with the front door lock. Let's woohoo!!"

"You read my mind!"

Madison: "I am such a cute baby!"

"Man, I'm exhausted. We'll have a nice woohoo, then I'm going to sleep!"

Zed: "How about you sleep first?"

"And NEVER wake up!!"

Albert, quick, you've got a hammer, defend yourself!!

"Noooo, Irene!!"

"Nice ass, Albert! You'll look so pretty in purple."

They never defend themselves. I gotta hand it to Timothy, he may be the smartest sim I've ever seen.

"I'm da' cutest!!"

"Irene, don't leave me!!"

"Are you SURE I can't kill the baby??"

Go home to your own baby, Zed.


I couldn't find Madison's one living grandparent in edit town, so I fostered her out to my simself's household. Serves me right. And I'm living in a huge house, I'll get over it.

"She looks nothing like me! Are you sure she's mine?"


"Booooooo!!! You stole that baby, Zed!!"

"Oh shut up, Peter! Mom's the one that stole shit, not me."

So this is April. If you scroll back to up to the 'Zed got laid' picture, you'll see a green dude in the background, reading a book. That's Louis Simself-Hester. I initially thought he was my son, but he's actually my husband. LOL!! Anyway, he's April's other father.

"Heh. Guess what, April! Your other dad is the second of the simgod's family that I've nailed."

"Yay Daddy!!"

Yeah, Alfred really was my son. I thought about instant babying the two of them, but Zed had just grown up, plus he wished to kill Alfred fairly quickly, so I decided to wait.

April rolled even for both traits, thus she stayed the way she was born, a clumsy, light-sleeper.

I have a pretty solid guess as to what that fight was about.

"I'm thinking that the dishwasher is broken."

Thanks for that, Shane.

"Really? That's all that happened in the last two days?"

It's feast or famine with this game. Either you all putz around skilling, schooling, and working, or your uncle kills ten people in twelve hours.

But April's not wrong. Sometimes you gotta document the mundane shit.

Here's the kids dancing in the rain at the spring festival.

"Quit stealing my moves, Shane!"

"I'm not stealing anything, stop being so cranky, Thomas!"

"You both need to shut up!"

Riveting, right?

And then Jason showed up.

"No, I don't want to do my homework! I'm dancing and having fun!! You don't get to boss me around, you hardly even know me!"

"Bad move, sis! You're a teenager now."


Your father does not take well to being yelled at, Julia.

** takes note of where Julia is in her lifestage **

"So. I don't get to boss you around, huh?"

"That's what I said."

"I say that I don't need a snotty kid who doesn't know her place."

"Oh you are fucking KIDDING me!! You filthy DOUCHEBAG!!"

Like father, like daughter.

"Give me that knife, you son of a bitch!!"

"What's happening? Did Julia fall down?"

"This is total bullshit!"

"Your dad is getting arrested, again, if it helps."

"No it doesn't help."

"Well I NEVER! I try to be nice and empathetic and this is the thanks I get? Good riddance, you little brat! I'm glad you didn't have a cute little black flower!"

"Dad is so cool!"

The Jason is strong in this one. I approve.

"Oh no! My sweet step-daughter is dead!"

Julia and Carissa are actually best friends.

"But at least it's my birthday!"

Carissa is obviously devastated.

"That fucker thinks he can kill me? ME? You just wait, you shit-headed deadbeat."

"Rain? Ew!"

Zed got the opportunity awhile ago, so he brought Julia to the science building to be resurrected.

Luckily for Julia, Jay didn't roll any more kill wishes while in the slammer.

"That's a fish? It looks like a dead squirrel left to rot in a swamp."

You're not the one eating it, so shut up and cook.


Welcome back, kiddo.

I adjusted her lifestage to where it should be. I feel like I need to, or else some of these kids won't ever grow up.

"What is the matter with this guy?"

Your parents threw a party.

"He's half-naked, digging through our trash."

Yeah, he's not quite right in the head. I left him on free will for too long.

"What are you doing? Why are you digging through our trash, and where is your shirt? You had one when you got here."

"I took it off because your trash can is fucking disgusting."

"It's a rubbish bin, you freak! It's supposed to stink! And taking off your shirt didn't work, you reek, you idiot!!"

This should go well.

"Your party sucks, Fiona."

Really, she shouldn't have invited his ass in the first place. This is your fault, Fiona.

"How about I dig through you instead, bitch?"

"Well that was boring. What else you got?"

"How about a memorable end to your party, you ugly, pig-fucker."

"Wait, did someone die? Or did someone miss getting the trash into the can?"

"Later, assholes!!"

It seems that the police do not come when it's off-hours.

LOL!! Literally!

"zzzzzzzzz I feel like I should make a run for it zzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Right as he got home. She was in bed, asleep. I've no idea what burr got up his butt.

"Bitch always hated me."

She loved you, inexplicably. I think you hate women.

"Fuck 'em all."

"Time to die, Carissa."

"zzzzzzzzzz Maybe when the kids grow up, we can move into a shiny new house! zzzzzzzzzz"

"What the...?"

Let's face it, girl, you were on borrowed time the moment you two met.

"You mean he did it? Jason killed me??"

Sads. I know.

"I did. I killed my wife! I'm sorry, Carissa! Come back!"

"Mwahahahahahaaaaa!  Live with the pain, JASON!! You earned it!!"

"My dad is the coolest!"

"I have to agree!"

Okay, Thomas, now it's disturbing.

"Wow! I was wrong. Dad IS really cool!"

"You killed Carissa? Way to go, man!!"

"Excuse me, I've got a job to do and everyone is in my way!"

I watched for it, but Jason never once did the evil-joy face thing he normally does when he kills someone. He did nothing but mourn Carissa's death. I suppose it's possible that part of him really does regret killing her.

"Well Grim, this whole marriage thing started in a bathroom, so it might as well end in one. It's poetic."

"If you say so."

Carissa becomes grave number four, and the first adult in the yard. Rest in peace, girl. I really liked you. You took care of all those kids, including one who wasn't yours, and never complained. You loved them all and you were their best friend. You did good.

Coming up, I'm not really sure. We're about caught up to where I am in the game.

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